Weeeeeee!
The site: teensexoutdoors.com
The price:$0.97 trial, $34.95 per month
The verdict: Do what I do — load this shit up on your laptop, go out in your front yard, start one of the videos and whack the shit out of your dong right there in plain sight. 7 out of 10.
What’s with all the fucking outdoors lately? I can’t even let my dog out to fetch the paper without him coming back with a Trojan hanging out of his ass. I go to the grocery store and — BAM — people are fucking in the milk cooler. At the bank drive-thru the other day I found a dildo in the vacuum tube. And I recently got an unexpected handy J by a meter maid while I was dropping a quarter in the meter. This shit is an epidemic!
Things are looking that way here at this site too, with one major difference. These horndogs are fucking in what appears to be private outdoor areas. I guess that’s fine if you dig it, but to me that takes away from the excitement. Go to Prague and get up in that bitches guts while you ride the subway. That’s the kind of shit that’s super hot. This will fit in the meantime, though.
Let me ask you fuckheads this — if you were minding your own business and some crazy asshole popped out of the bushes and said, “Hey — you give me $1.00 and I’ll take you over here to this backyard where some hot bitches are getting hammered. You can stay for 3 days and whack your turkey all you want.” Would you do it? Fuck’n A right you would. That’s basically what’s happening here with the 3 day, $1.00 trial that this site offers. I’m the crazy fucker and your computer is the bushes. Get it?
Do what I do — load this shit up on your laptop, go out in your front yard, start one of the videos and whack the shit out of your dong right there in plain sight. Then you really get the feeling of getting laid outdoors. And who knows…maybe old lady Gert from down the way will stroll on by and wet your head for you!
7 out of 10
Visit TeenSexOutdoors.com
