December 2009

Spy Torbe Website Review

by The Devil (admin)

Emily was surprised to learn how good the invisible man was in bed.

The site: spytorbe.com

The price:$29.99 per month

The verdict: I was not blown away by the site, but I am impressed with the totality of what you get for the price of a cheap date. 6.5 out of 10.

[rating:6.5/10] (6.5/10)

To join, click here:www.spytorbe.com

I watched a movie one time that talked about how the spies in the 80s used to fuck the shit out of each other all the time to get info about other countries. I wish I had been used by a Russian slut named Nikkita. I would have gladly lost the cold war and learned Russian for that.

Asian hookers getting smattered by a fat dude who (allegedly) hid a camera to film it all. That’s the premise of SpyTorbe.com. Sounds like a good way to spend a winter afternoon to me!

I have no idea if this guy is really hiding these cameras or not. Lots of time I am skeptical of it, but in this case it’s entirely possible, as I have hidden a camera and filmed myself fucking Asian call girls on more than one occasion. Then I used to the tape to get a discount on my next fuck session with that broad. She gives me half off, she gets the tape back. Capitalism, friends.

SpyTorbe does occasionally have non-Asian sluts, but the Asians are the bulk of what you’re gonna get. You also get all original material, high quality scenes and THIRTY additional sites for free when you join this one — all at a price of $30 per month.

I was not blown away by the site, but I am impressed with the totality of what you get for the price of a cheap date.

6.5 out of 10

Visit SpyTorbe.com

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French Amateur Sex Website Review

by The Devil (admin)

I always thought the French were more fashionable

I always thought the French were more fashionable

The site: frenchamateursex.com

The price:$29.99 per month

The verdict: All in all it’s definitely a site worth it’s fee (30 for 30). It’s even more than ample when they throw in the 30 or so additional sites in the network for free. All are on the pro tip, and most are pretty decent — and definitely servicable. 7.5 out of 10.

[rating:7.5/10] (7.5/10)

To join, click here:www.frenchamateursex.com

I’ve been to France. For the most part, they all hated me because I was a “cocky American.” From what I can tell from this site, they seem to adore all things cock. Hence, they should have loved me (and my swining dick). I’m going back to show them the error of their ways.

These aren’t what I’d really consider “amateurs”, but what the hell. They are French sluts, and that’s the important thing.

I can tell a few things about French bitches just from watching this site. One, is that they aren’t as fond of the razor as our chicks are. Not a problem. Also, they all seem to have larger than average eyebrows. Again, I can dig it. Finally, they wince a lot more when a dong is shoved into their ass than their American counterparts. That, too, is something I am fond of.

What I cannot deal with is a chick that is mumbling in another langauge when my shit is digging at her cervix. I don’t mind accents, but I can’t get off if there is any chance that the chick I am fucking is reciting Bible verses or naming off her children in some shit language. It’s a deal breaker for me.

All in all it’s definitely a site worth it’s fee (30 for 30). It’s even more than ample when they throw in the 30 or so additional sites in the network for free.   All are on the pro tip, and most are pretty decent — and definitely servicable.

7.5 out of 10

Visit FrenchAmateurSex.com

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Only Euro Porn Website Review

by The Devil (admin)

Only?

Only?

The site: onlyeuroporn.com

The price:$29.99 per month

The verdict: Nothing that I haven’t seen before, but not a bad place to go when my nuts are on swell. Good deal with all 30 sites for $30, too. 7 out of 10.

[rating:7/10] (7/10)

To join, click here: www.onlyeuroporn.com

Have you fucklers ever been to Europe? I have. There is some grade A pussy up in that continent. But, man — when they get ugly they get DAMN ugly. I saw this chick in Hungary that looked exactly like the bastard child of Julia Childs and
John Madden.

It’s OnlyEuroPorn.com and, guess what? No American pussy! Sure, I like some red, white and blue snatch just as much as the next patriot, but I also dig me some of that across the pond pussy. This site is for when I crave some of that funny talkin’ shit.

And although all of the ladies are European, they have many different “types” to choose from at OnlyEuroPorn. For example, if you get off on the perfect blonde with a gorgeous face and fake, but stunning rack — go check out the samples of Victoria. If you’re more into the sinister looking brunette that sucks the skin off of mad cocks (like I am ), go check out Simone Style. And if you’re into bald chicks with fat, hairy pussies — well, you’ll have to look elsewhere. They ain’t got that kinda shit at OnlyEuroPorn.

This is a pro type site, so no home videos of Brits fucking Frenchies or anything like that. Too bad — that shit would be hot. But as it is it’s pretty good, since I like foreign chicks. And the price for Only Euro Porn is right at $30 for 30 days — and that includes 30 sites. Stellar.

Nothing that I haven’t seen before, but not a bad place to go when my nuts are on swell. Good deal with all 30 sites for $30, too.

7 out of 10

Visit OnlyEuroPorn.com

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Diana Dean Web

by The Devil (admin)

Purple hair'd slut

Purple hair'd slut

The site: dianadeanweb.com

The price:$29.99 per month

The verdict: I would join this site for Diana alone. The other sites and material are fucking gravy. 8 out of 10.

[rating:8/10] (8/10)

To join, click here:www.dianadeanweb.com

Obviously, I like chicks that need the dick like it’s crack. I want my chick to literally have to be hospitalized if she cannot get my cock inside of her at least once every 4 hours. If she goes a day without my boner — death.

There are sluts, and then there are incredi-sluts. Diana Dean is the latter, and almost beyond. She is fucking nasty — and in a good way.

Diana is a hot piece of ass with a very nice body. Nothing fake — all real, nice sized tits and a really nice ass. She keeps a little grass on her knoll, for those of you that dig the hair. She’s a fucking freak, though, so be warned. She likes to be abused. She is pierced and wild. She is lovely.

She also likes to fuck the face of the netwrok, Torbe, who’s a fat, bad-toothed hairball that gets a ton of pussy by paying for it. I’m not knocking him — he’s a fucking role model if you ask me. I just wish Dian here would come drink from the Devil’s cup. I could give her so much more…

$30 will get you 30 days — AND an additional 29 sites. Most of them are very nice sites, some are shit. Over all, however, the amount of shit you get total is WELL worth the $30 per month. WELL worth it.

I would join this site for Diana alone. The other sites and material are fucking gravy.

8 out of 10

Visit DianaDeanWeb.com

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Motorhome Bangs

by The Devil (admin)

Looky there, it's Toki's mom.

Looky there, it's Toki's mom.

The site: motorhomebangs.com

The price:$29.99 per month

The verdict: Good enough for your globe trotting gonads. 7 out of 10.

[rating:7/10] (7/10)

To join, click here:www.motorhomebangs.com

I fucked a motorhome once. Right in the tailpipe. Burned the shit outta my cock, though. Next time I’ll be sure to shut it off first.

As you can probably guess, MotorhomeBangs.com is one of those “fuck ‘em in the vehicle” ventures. Of course this time it’s a motorhome instead of a van or a car. Seems to make more sense to me, as motorhomes generally have beds in them. I wonder why no one thought of that before now?

There are no real surprises here. The chicks are pretty hot, but they are not random, off-the-street amateurs as MotorhomeBangs would have you believe. Doesn’t matter all that much, although it would be hotter I suppose if they really were random encounters.

The cool thing about the chicks, however, is that they are not all cut from the exact same cloth. I found most of them attractive, but they are not all blonde bimbo knockouts, like some sites force on you. Lots of different body types here. Good stuff.

$30 gets you 30 days and 30 sites. Yep — the 30 for 30 for 30 special. You get Motorhome Bangs and every other site in this network. Most are better than average, some are great and a couple are bordering on shit. But for $1 per month for each site, it’s hard to go wrong.

Good enough for your globe trotting gonads.

7 out of 10

Visit MotorHomeBangs.com

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Cum Cum Sofia Website Review

by The Devil (admin)

Haggard but sexy

Haggard but sexy

The site: cumcumsofia.com

The price:$29.99 per month

The verdict: Not enough here to join for the site alone, but plenty included in the network to make it worth your bucks. 6 out of 10.

[rating:6/10] (6/10)

To join, click here:www.cumcumsofia.com

Have you ever shot your load in a chick without thinking and then, in a moment of panic, tried to scoop all of your semen out with a salad fork and an empty jar of peanut butter? Pretty scary, isn’t it?

Basically, this site is a mere portal to the entire network called Torbe Cash. You will not get too much of Sofia — she’s just a cunt with a coupel of boner licking videos to draw you in. The real meat is in 30 plus sites that are all included in the membership fee of $30 per month.

Those sites, for the most part, are pretty good. There are a few wooden nickels like this one, but there are also a good amount of sites with good material that make it worth the join. They are pro sites, and lots of them are set in other countries where this Torbe fella fucks the shit out of foreign sluts. How ones, too!

Oh yeah — I guess I should at least mention a bit about Sofia since we’re here. She’s blonde and she’s pretty hot. She kind of has an Elizabth Shue look to her, but not as hot (of course, very few are). I could certainly see myself sinking my hammer balls deep in her trunk hole, if that’s what you’re asking.

Not enough here to join for the site alone, but plenty included in the network to make it worth your bucks.

6 out of 10

Visit CumCumSofia.com

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Heal My Ass Website Review

by The Devil (admin)

WTF?

WTF?

The site: healmyass.com

The price:$29.99 per month

The verdict: Take out the goofy acting and I’m totally on board with Heal My Ass. As it currently is, I can go to the circus and watch the clowns fuck each other and get the same effect. 5 out of 10.

[rating:5/10] (5/10)I knew a guy who fell on a tent stake and it created a new, independent asshole, right next to his existing one. This feller had 2 assholes, but he was straight, so that second, virgin asshole went unfucked. I am betting he fingers it on a regular basis, though.

HealMyAss.com is one of those sites that has good looking, professional porn starlets who know their way around a boner, but then they go and fuck it up by putting a bunch of silly play acting and props all over the place. This one puts these bitches in an over-the-top fake doctor’s office with over-the-top, goofy counterparts and silly props like gorilla masks and rubber chickens. Some of you may dig that shit, but it ruins the entire scene for me.

Obviously, the good part of HealMyAss is that you’re going to see a lot of butt fucking. Tons of it. But it’s not the “scared look in the eye, ow that shit hurts but feels good too” kind of butt fucking that we all know from our personal lives. This, instead, is hardcore, hammer time butt fucking that results in an asshole so gaped that you could place a drumstick in there sideways and not hit the rim.

This site is not my bag at all, but when you join you get access to 30 additional sites, many of which I like, so it’s definitely worth a join, IMHO. $30 will get you all of the sites each month, so that’s about a dollar a site for the month. Decent numbers when you put it that way.

Take out the goofy acting and I’m totally on board with Heal My Ass. As it currently is, I can go to the circus and watch the clowns fuck each other and get the same effect.

5 out of 10

Visit HealMyAss.com

To join, click here:www.healmyass.com

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Torbe In Argentina Website Review

by The Devil (admin)

Nice lingerie for a second rate whore from a third world country

Nice lingerie for a second rate whore from a third world country

The site: torbeinargentina.com

The price:$29.99 per month

The verdict: If you can’t get to Argentina, get to Torbe In Argentina. It’s cheaper and worth your time. 8.5 out of 10.

[rating:8.5/10] (8.5/10)

To join, click here:www.torbeinargentina.com

I’ve never been to Argentina, but I damn sure want to go. I’ve hear tale of vagina-lined streets, cock-milking pubs and prostate-massaging police officers. It’s a pussy nirvana.

TorbeInArgentina.com features our chubby and hirsute friend Torbe, in his quest to fuck a hot piece of ass in just about every country on Earth. We’ve seen a lot of Torbe (and you will see a lot of his too if you join this site, as ALL 30 of his sites are included when you join this one), and we like most of what we see. TorbeInArgentina is no exception.

I love Argentinian chicks. On my world wide scale, I would put them very high in my Latina category, possibly only behind Brazilian chicks. They are tanned-skinned, they have wonderful asses, they have full lips — they are stellar. And here on Torbe In Argentina, they are real, they are amateurish and they are fucking hot.

The really cool thing about this site is that although all of the ladies are Argentinian, their looks span the spectrum from dark skinned to pale, blonde to black hair, big tits to small — and Torbe sticks his chubby boner up in each and every one of them. Excellent variety here.

The price to play is $30 per month, and as I mentioned before, that gets you THIRTY total sites. That’s a lot of cunny for $30. This particular site is one of the better in the Torbe network, too.

If you can’t get to Argentina, get to Torbe In Argentina. It’s cheaper and worth your time.

8.5 out of 10

Visit TorbeInArgentina.com

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Torbe Films Website Review

by The Devil (admin)

Chiny chin chin. What a fatso

Chiny chin chin. What a fatso

The site: torbefilms.com

The price:$29.99 per month

The verdict: Not sure how this turd ended up in a good network. Join — but only for the bonus sites. 5 out of 10.

[rating:5/10] (5/10)

To join, click here:www.torbefilms.com

When I hear the word “film”, I immediately think “artsy.” “Movie” makes me think of a mainstream Hollywood production. “Flick” means porno, each and every time.

The Torbe Films at TorbeFilms.com, however, could only be classified as “artsy” if you were at the Museum of Ridiculous Clown Shit. While there is some good fucking of hot chicks in these flicks, the films are marred by goofy spoofs or real movies and shows that take away from the good sex.

The upside is the nasty (in a good way) chicks that appear on TorbeFilms. They are hot and willing to do just about anything. Trust me — when you agree to star in a porno with fat, unattractive dudes wearing sea captain uniforms and tiaras, going tonsil deep in another chick’s ass is not at all humiliating by comparison.

The day I visited this goof fest, there were only 3 active movies, with one on the way. I have no idea if the site is brand new, or if they are dragging their feet on these movies. Maybe they got going and saw how ridiculous the movies were and decided to slow it up until they could go a new direction with it.

Fortunately, you get 30 total sites when you join this one ($30 per month), so you can sniff around here for a chuckle and then go get yourself some good jerk material from on of their better sites.

Not sure how this turd ended up in a good network. Join — but only for the bonus sites.

Visit TorbeFilms.com

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Jositos Will Website Review

by The Devil (admin)

A dude in a wheel chair is going to clumsily fuck her

Just wait until you see the shopping cart she has to fuck.

The site: jositoswill.com

The price:$29.99 per month

The verdict: It’s a gimmick, sure — but it’s also damn good smut. 7.5 out of 10

[rating:7.5/10] (7.5/10)
To join, click here:www.jositoswill.com
I’ve seen a lot of shit in my years of reviewing porn. For example, I once saw a dude fuck a chick with a wagon wheel. Don’t ask. That being said, I have never seen the shit that I just saw here at Josito’s Will.

Josito is a paraplegic. That means his getaway sticks don’t work. That also usually means that his cock is as useless as tits on a boar. But Josito is a little different. His boner has defied all of the medical doctors and the laws and rules of nature. His dick still works, despite being paralyzed from the waist down. It’s hard to keep a good cock down.

That’s pretty much the hook for JositosWill.com. It works for me. Tell me a dude is paralyzed but he can and does still fuck lots of hot chicks, I’m sold. Why? Don’t know — but I bet many of you are in that boat with me.

And yes — I said hot. I expected to see a couple of crack whores, but I was dead wrong. Jostio is actually a good looking dude and let’s be honest, gals — who wouldn’t want to have a story about fucking a paraplegic right in his wheelchair? You could tell everyone that you are so fucking good, you can make a paraplegic get a fucking hard on.

JositosWill and 30 other sites are $30 per month — total. That’s a buck a site per month, for those of you keeping score at home. Well worth the cabbage for this site alone, and a hell of a deal when everything else is thrown in.

It’s a gimmick, sure — but it’s also damn good smut.

7.5 out of 10

Visit JositosWill.com


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