June 2010

She's awfully happy for having been exploited!

I exploited many, many chicks in college. One time in particular, I convinced a chick that I was the sole heir to a shipping magnate’s fortune. Then I convinced her that she needed to let me fuck or or she would be murdered. I followed that up with tricking her into letting me stick my three longest toes into her asshole. Finally, I talked her into letting me simultaneously cum in her nostril and hit her as hard as I could with a ball peen hammer. College chicks RULE!

Come…see the exploitation of today’s college ladies.

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Shit's about to get good for this fella. Good thing he has Diphallia!

It’s Monday and I have nothing funny to say.  I do, however, always make sure I start off my week with a ravishing masturbatory experience to sort of set the tone for the rest of the week.  Nothing is more important than getting a nut to the right material on a Monday.

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Why don't you come with me...on a magic carpet ride.

It’s Friday!  You fuckers know what that means, right?  Yep!  A new tattoo, a midget fucking and a can of deviled ham for dinner!

Oh — and most importantly, beating off to my favorite porn starlet ever, Shelby Bell.

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Delicious! Now, can I have one for my vagina to eat?

I fucked a chick once that was so fat, her clit looked like a catcher’s mitt. This monster was gargantuan. When I stuck my hog up in that bitch’s guts, it looked like someone stabbing a bean bag with a drinking straw. But I’m not ashamed. Fuck that shit! You haven’t lived until you’ve lain with bigness.

This site has some large ladies — but not too large, if you know what I mean.  A very nice balance of big and beautiful.

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PUSH!! PUSH!!!!!

Ruth Blackwell is a pregnant white slut that craves black cock.  She won’t settle for anything less than a ruler-sized cock.  And she doesn’t give a hamster’s ass that she’s pregnant and riding stranger dong on the world wide web.  She’s a maverick.

If society has a problem with that, then I have a problem with society.

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Valerie will always cherish the day at her valet job when Wonder Woman showed up in her invisible jet.

Although I already said my first preference is a smaller assed gal, that doesn’t mean that I don’t like to get some bubble ass from time to time.  When I get up under some chick with a big ole’ ass, I want to see that fat butt hang over the sides of my hips.  I can’t get maximum ass induced nuttage unless it looks like I’m wearing saddle bags.

This site made my cum in my kimono.

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Nom, nom, nom, nom...

Imagine getting really drunk, picking up some strange, and waking up in the morning and realizing your one night stand was, in fact, a small female brown bear.  Just think of the claw marks your back would have to endure.  Oh, the humanity.

I have no plans to fuck a bear, but I do like to watch male strippers hammer down party-going sluts.  How does that make sense?  Visit Dancing Bear to see.

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Get your ass over here and suck Mama's cock!

I’ve never bedded down a tranny, but if I ever do, I have some major league plans for that lady boy.   First, we’re gonna compare cock size.  The biggest gets to be the pitcher.

Then, assuming I chose wisely and my dragger outclasses his, I’m gonna fill his asshole with ether and get high by huffing butt.

Lastly, I’m gonna lather up my cock and balls with a mint meringue and cram every last bit of my junk into his asshole, shake it around ’till I cum, then finish off the whole she-bang by sucking him dry.

Until then…

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When I open my eyes, there'd better be a cock in me!

Yesterday I watched an internet video of a zoo monkey mouth-raping a frog.   I can now die the happiest man alive.

But to maintain that happiness, I need to beat off a minimum of 5 times per day.  3 of those times I beat off to the Golden Girls.  The other two I like to spend watching this deliciously freckled little cock pit, Brooke Sky.

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