If you think that nipple tastes good, wait 'til you taste her snatch.
How come vagina tastes so much better than cock? I don’t know that personally, but I can see the writing on the wall. If you assume that all straight guys eat cunt, and all straight gals eat dick — then you add in the gay population you may still have it even. But then you throw in the weekend warrior lesbians who only dine on snapper from time to time, it’s clear that pussy tastes better than cock. You never see a part time bone chugger.
It's about to look like a crime scene up in that motherfucker.
Last night as I was hammering away at M’lady’s back porch, it occurred to me that there is absolutely zero downside to anal sex. No one gets pregnant, there’s very little love involved, and it goes without saying that the asshole is infinitely tighter than the blown out cunt of any chick willing to let you stick it in her jar.
There are two main camps of men. This first are the tit guys. They love, love, love tits. They are rabid about tits. They can tell the size of a tit by a one-half second glance, through a turtleneck sweater and a wool overcoat. They usually prefer them big…the bigger the better. 55EEE? Fuck it, we’ll take ‘em! The gal could actually have a rhinoceros horn growing out of her forehead, but if she has a decent rack then a tit man would fuck her. Or at least titty fuck her.
Then there are ass men. Ass men are not as hell bent, but are very particular. They do not have their eyes pop out of their head and their tongue roll down to the ground in cartoon fashion when they see a great ass, as the tit guys do when they see a huge set of gams. Instead they slyly take a long, hard look, almost like taking a long, satisfying drag off of a cigarette and they simply say, “Damn. That is one fine ass.”
I used to have a girlfriend that liked to play a drinking game called “Mama Can’t Fit That.” We’d lay out about 10 things or so that we’d collect from around the house/garage/storage shed and she’d try to stick them in her pussy. If she couldn’t she had to drink a beer. If she could, I had to drink one. We had to stop the game after a few months, though, when she tore a labia trying to shimmy a Dust Buster into her snatch.
It’s Monday, so we’re going to start things off slowly — but with a fucking bang. Video Box doesn’t sound much like porn, but by-fuckity it’s as porny as porn gets. They have more smut than you can shake an epileptic stick at. Come check this shit out.
Last week I was in [mmjs-regionname] — [mmjs-city] to be exact — and I bedded down an old hag that talked a lot about you. Was it your Mom or your sister? Either way — if you fucked half as good as your kin folk, you wouldn’t need to be hand jiving on the internet.
On the bright side, your Mom/sister (both??) wasn’t half as freaky as this crazy bitch.
I really wish I knew more about how this squirting thing began. They never had squirting porn in the 80s. Then all of a sudden, with the invention of the internet, women somehow became able to shoot vagina water across a room. How do they do that? It looks damn satisfying — can I learn to shoot water out of my ass? Who do I pose these questions to?!? Where do I get the answers to the queries that haunt me?
I entered a big cock contest in Tijuana once. It was me and 3 other dudes (2 other white guys and a Puerto Rican). I came in 3rd. Turns out, the Puerto Rican was a pre-op tranny and I had 1/8 of an inch on him/her.
Black guys have bigger cocks. I am at peace with that. Proof? Check out the shit at We Like It Black.
"You cannot even begin to comprehend the level of damage I am going to inflict on your cunt."
I love Rocco Siffredi and all that he has done for this Earth. Rocco is proof that with an open mind and a 6 pack of lube, one man’s impressive cock can bring peace and harmony to an otherwise hateful and chaotic world.
If you are going to commit a crime, I always say make sure it involves sex. Not like rape or anything – that shit’s not cool. But stealing some home porno tapes is well worth 2 years of unsupervised probation in my book – as long as you can copy those fuckers and keep them for future reference.
