Anal

That's right -- assault it. With your fucking cock.

The site: assaultthatass.com

The price:$4.95 – 3 day trial

The verdict: It’s really hard to compare one anal site against another — I mean, once you make sure they’re hot and nasty, once you stick it in her ass it’s really all top notch, don’t you think? This one, however, will always be considered one of the better ones due to the network you belong to once you join. 9 out of 10.

I have seen many a porn star claim that she will “not do anal.” Why the fuck not? It’s not for the pain aspect — I’ve seen the same chicks get mosh-fucked by a gang of 12 inch cocks, their pussy holes stretched farther than Rachel Ray’s $40 budget in Miami. It’s not shame — please, for God’s sake tell me these bitches aren’t claiming their morally above, well…anything. So that leaves them wanting to “save” it for that special someone. Let me get this straight — you want to save your filthy, dirt stained shit-ring for only the man you love? Thanks a lot, sweetie…I’ll just put it where you pee.But those snobby whores are persona non grata here (for those of you in Arkansas, that means they are not wanted here). Assault that Ass is EXCLUSIVELY about the *real* porn stars — the bitches that know no limits and let anyone with a dick and enough cash stick one in their ass and the other in their hand. Sometimes it doesn’t even matter which goes where. These bitches have butt holes deeper than Bill Gates’ pockets and looser than a Reno slot machine. Oh — and they’re some of the hottest bitches in the world of anal.

This site comes from the same people that make the Red Light District line of adult videos – -one of the most well known brands in the adult industry. That means that they score the top of the line pussy. This holds very true to this site — chicks like Naomi (stunning brunette that’s as dirty as a candy cane on a dirt road), Katie (who even has a hint of Liz Hurley looks in her), Heather (a filthy blonde that wears a dog collar when she gets her shitter plugged) and Saana (a small tittied blonde that takes on TWO white boys’ dicks at once).

And the thing that won’t make your own butt pucker is the low price for a 3 day trial — $4.95. We’ve reviewed sites in the past that have $1.00 3 day trials, so this is not the cheapest. But for a big name like Red Light District, this may very well be the best deal going. You can rest assured that this site will never go out of business, will always bring the hottest chicks available, and will constantly update day after day, after day.

It’s really hard to compare one anal site against another — I mean, once you make sure they’re hot and nasty, once you stick it in her ass it’s really all top notch, don’t you think? This one, however, will always be considered one of the better ones due to the network you belong to once you join. You get all of their sites — which includes thousands of video scenes and well over 1,000 different girls. Hard to beat.

Visit the site: www.assaultthatass.com

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She's getting crushed

The site: asscrush.com

The price:$1.00 trial, $24.95 a month

The verdict: All in all a decent site. Great looking chicks getting fucked in the pooper. Hard to fuck that up. 7 out of 10.

You know – I hear a lot of women bitching in these hard economic times about not being able to afford this or that. Do me a favor, ladies. Take your pants off. Okay, now reach your hands around to the backside and spread those ass cheeks. Got it? That’s all you have to do! Do this, let a guy slip his trouser hammer into your off ramp, and voila! You have some extra spending cash!Wow. Well, not exactly what I had pictured when I saw the name of the site was Ass Crush. I was expecting big ol’ fatties, taking a galloping start at the bed and SPLASH – jumping up and landing on some poor dude’s face with their enormous asses. One can always dream, right?

As it stands, however, the only crush going on here is a schoolyard type of crush, and apparently that crush is on the asshole in general. I can see that -I would say that I have a similar crush. Unfortunately for me, I don’t get to act on my crush nearly as often as these lucky bastards do. Not only are there a wharfman’s ton of videos already on the site, they add updates weekly.

I was pretty impressed with quality of the chicks on this site. This is the first site I have reviewed from this network, and I wasn’t sure what to expect. It is definitely one of those high def, high quality, pro porn sites – so if you’re into more amateur stuff, steer clear. But if quality is important to you, I would put this stable of bitches up against most any out there. Plus, they’re getting butt fucked – a bonus to be sure.

Right now they are offering 3 day trials for $1.00. No, not one day trials for a buck-THREE DAYS FOR A BUCK! Sorry -I had to yell to make sure you understood it. That’s a hell of a deal no matter how you fuck it. And if you stay on with them, you get about 20 additional sites to fuck your fist to.

The downside – nothing original at all. I have seen this site 5,000 times in other places on the net. That doesn’t mean it’s bad, but if it were my site I’d try to make it stand out from the pack a bit more.

All in all a decent site. Great looking chicks getting fucked in the pooper. Hard to fuck that up.

Visit the site: www.asscrush.com

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If I get a fever from an asshole I'd be really pissed

The site: assholefever.com

The price:$1.95 Trial, $29.95 first month

The verdict: Decent ass site. Not the best I’ve seen, but it’ll fit if need be. The huge network and the HD really make the sell. 6 out of 10.

I bet you guys are expecting me to make some joke about a sick asshole, or how I once got asshole fever and I was sweating out of my pooper for days. Well, I’m not gonna do it. I refuse to be typecast. Instead I am going to suggest that Asshole Fever would be a fantastic name for a rock band – and leave it at that.

Unless you are Retardo Montelban you know damn well that this is a site dedicated to butt fucking. I have yet to find a really bad butt fucking site, so I will tell you right off the bat that it’s worth checking into. The bugger is in the details. Let’s explore, shall we?

First of all, the chicks are top shelf. This doesn’t matter quite as much to me when dealing with a brown eye site. More important that hot chicks, I need a chick that teeters on that boundary between unbelievable pleasure and torturous pain. Wincing and yelling while she cums. If I have a bunch of sphincters that look like windsocks hanging out, well then – I am not too pleased.

This has a combo of both – so I am happy at times, not so much at other times. I am not a big gaping fan – so when I guy take his hog out of a chick’s arse, it had better not look like the entrance to the Lincoln Tunnel, or I am not going any further with the scene. It should at least START to contract, for God’s sake.

For the record, my favorite butthole here was right on the back side of Madison Parker. She is a stunning, black haired vixen that has a body to die for. Seriously – let me sink it in her for 5 minutes and then you can kill me. And she doesn’t suffer from ring toss ass – her hole seems to have retained a good amount of elasticity.

The site is part of one of those giant, professional networks, so when you join this one (about $30 per month), you also get access to 30 plus additional sites. Hell of a deal no matter how you cut it really – unless you are looking for amateur or home video porn. Then this network would be WAY too fancy for you (they shoot in HD after all).

Decent ass site. Not the best I’ve seen, but it’ll fit if need be. The huge network and the HD really make the sell.

… 6 out of 10

Visit the site: www.assholefever

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The plundering is underway.

The site: assplundering.com

The price:$1.00 trial, $24.95 a month

The verdict: Really nice, hardcore anal site. Not for pussies – in more ways than one. 7.5 out of 10.

I’m all for any asshole fucking site, but I give a little extra props to one that does not refer to it as “anal sex”and instead calls it “ass plundering.”  What can I say, I’m a sucker for clever vocabulary.And I’m also a sucker for female assholes that have been obliterated by other-worldy sized boners. My dream would be to find a chick with an asshole that felt tight when I fucked it, but would look like a red, meaty Krispy Kreme donut when I am not. And when I stumbled onto this Ass Plundering site here, I think I may have found dozens of candidates to fill that role.

You know – a lot of chicks do anal porn, and I really don’t think they get nearly enough credit for what they have to go through. Take this chick on this site here, Bianca Pureheart. First of all, she had to change her name to that piece of shit she’s using there – that’s punishment enough. She’s also a very petite gal – I don’t know her exact dimensions, but she’s as skinny as a rake and not much taller than an elf. In fact, she may be elfen for all I know. But in the interest of entertaining sick people like yourself, Bianca gladly accepts colossal cocks into her butthole over and over and over again. It has to hurt, and we’re all but certain that she could shit a basketball after it is all said and done – but dammit, she does it for YOU!

$1 trials are the feature right now – you can get three days for just a buck. If you join full-time you get access to about FIFTY total sites for less than $30 per month. Seriously-  if you have a heart at all you will at least toss them a buck so they can pay Bianca. For Chrissakes, people – she needs reconstructive ass surgery – who’s gonna pay for that mess if we don’t?

Really nice, hardcore anal site. Not for pussies – in more ways than one.

Visit the site: www.assplundering.com

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