Blowjobs

Sperm Suckers Website Review

by The Caveman (admin)

Two gallon sucker

You can never undo what you're about to do.

The site: spermsuckers.com
The price:

The verdict: This is a very good site that is part of a good network. If extreme hardcore is your cup of cum, then joining this site is absolutely the best way to go. 9 out of 10.

[rating:9/10] (9/10)

To join, click here:www.spermsuckers.com

Yet another stellar site from the fellas that also brought us Facial Abuse, Ghetto Gaggers and Ebony Cum Dumps, Sperm Suckers is an extreme hardcore site that focuses on female degradation. In this instance, it is the art of eating sperm. Art you say? Whatever do you mean? Well, these Jersey boys have made this into much more than an afterthought of swallowing when the time is right. They use cum swallowing WAY differently than most are used to, making the girls drink it out of different insulting items such as dog bowls with “stupid whore” written on the side, used plungers and dirty mirrors. Oh yeah, occasionally they will drink it out of a cock, but be sure that they guys will make them hear about it no matter what!

If you are not familiar with the aforementioned sites, they are all group of similar extreme hardcore sites available with one monthly payment of $29.95. If you are into this type of adult entertainment, then this is not only a good deal, but a spectacular deal. Some people may not be into this extreme of behavior, but many have never seen it, so you never know until you try. It can be a MAJOR turn-on, we can promise you that. We always like to remind everyone that the girls involved are all willing participants, and that is obvious when you watch the videos. They not only do what these guys demand of them, but most go above and beyond the call of duty.

One of those go-getters was Cristal a cute brunette that loves to do what she is told. She starts her video sitting on the shitter, which she eventually is made to put her head in and get flushed a few times. Oh yeah, that is after she has to gag-suck a cock while sitting on the toilet and get on her knees and lick the toilet…and she NEVER even bats an eye! What a gal! She eventually is made to take 3 loads in the mouth, spit all of the cum out, drink it back up and then brush her teeth with it! Oral hygiene is oh-so important.

And then there was Angel Burk, a trooper of the highest order. Angel is a blonde with nice tits and a nice face. Nothing super stellar, but also nothing to throw out of bed for eating crackers either. Angel goes into the restroom to find that all of the stalls are occupied, so she is made to suck the dicks of all three guys in the stalls while they are naked and sitting in a public shithouse, right on top of the throne. They then all cum into a plunger that was in the public bathroom and she has to drink the cum out of the plunger. This was by far the most degrading one that we had ever seen. We have to hand it to Angel…she plays the game well!

This is a very good site that is part of a good network. If extreme hardcore is your cup of cum, then joining this site is absolutely the best way to go.

Visit the site: www.spermsuckers.com

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Sperm Blasters Website Review

by The Caveman (admin)

Blasted

Blowing cum bubbles is a unique -often wasted - talent.

The site: spermblasters.com

The price:$2.95 Trial, $29.95 a Month

The verdict: you can join briefly for 3 days for less than $3 if you visit now (they claim it is a limited time offer). The regular membership is the standard $30 per month. $1 per day for 12 sites or so or better than average porn? Fucking sounds good to me. 6 out of 10.

[rating:6/10] (6/10)

To join, click here:www.spermblasters.com

If your face ain’t glazed…then it don’t look good…who you gonna call? SPERM BLASTERS! If you need some cum…from some throbbing wood…who you gonna call? SPERM BLASTERS!

This is a BJ, cum shot site that went out of their way to get the dudes with the fullest balls to empty gargantuan cum shots on the faces of knee-bound sluts that have just finished snarfling down their cocks. And I am dead serious when I say that these fellers have some of the largest cum blasts that I have ever seen a chick take to the face. It’s like they’re standing at the bottom of some water park ride, and the gondola comes down the chute and splashes them with gallons of water – except here it’s cum.

And talk about wannabes – the chicks here are sexy, but in a dirty way- and they are just trying to get a cunt lip in the door of the porn industry. They are obviously not the best paid sluts in the land, despite looking good and working a cock like an army of ants works a picnic. If I wasn’t so busy jerking off and cumming on their virtual faces, I may even feel sorry for them.

That being said, there is a chance for some stardom to come to these lucky ladies if they play their cards right – I saw the lovely Courntey Simpson on this site. She is the chick that used to be a cheerleader at Arizona State University, then went into porn and even used her ASU cheerleading outfit to suck cocks in, becoming an internet sensation. Hope. Inspiration. Desire.

You get all of the sites in this network when you join (a good dozen or so), and you can join briefly for 3 days for less than $3 if you visit now (they claim it is a limited time offer). The regular membership is the standard $30 per month. $1 per day for 12 sites or so or better than average porn? Fucking sounds good to me.

Visit the site: www.spermblasters.com

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Sperm Swallowers Website Review

by The Caveman (admin)

She can tell what you ate based on your sperm taste

Carly Simon did some naughty things when she was young.

The site: spermswallowers.com

The price:$29.95/Month

The verdict: That being said, I’m supposed to focus on this one particular site. It’s fine enough, if you’re into watching chicks drink semen. It’s not my bag, but the chicks are hot. 6 out of 10.

[rating:6/10] (6/10)

To join, click here:www.spermswallowers.com


How fucking poor and desperate for attention can these girls get? I mean, c’mon! Line up a string of thick-cocked dudes, service them until each and every one of them cums in your mouth, and then swallow ALL of the loads? Jesus…that’s gotta be a thick swallow. I bet it feels like swallowing a jug full of semi-melted animal fat. And I bet they do it for a lot less than the $5 million dollars it would take to get me to do that shit.

Well, as you’ve figured out – this is a gimmick/niche site, where a bevy of sausage-wielding studs line up, get pleasured and, one after the other, unload in a “lucky” gals mouth. She maintains each guys bounty in her gullet until all of them are done – then swallows. Dad would be proud…if he hadn’t left 17 years ago.

It’s one thing to get a crack whore to do the aforementioned dirty deeds – it’s another thing entirely to get the heat that they have snagged here at this site. I’ve said it before, but it will never cease to amaze me how many super hot chicks will take a gaggle of cocks on the internet. I mean – when you’re that hot, it’s really not that hard to go through life without working at all, let alone doing porn. Hey hotties – marry a rich dude! Unless, of course, you just enjoy chugging stranger-cock. If that’s the case, come suck on my wiggler for a bit!

Okay – we’ve got gang bangin’, cum guzzling, hot chicks -what more could you ask for? How about a decent fare? Well, it must be Christmas, little Johnny! You get this site — which has tons of material by the way — and you get several additional sites (including the official sites of Jenna Haze & Gina Lynn), for a mere $30 per month. I’d pay $30 per month for each of the Jenna Haze & Gina Lynn sites, so in my opinion, this is a dandy deal.

That being said, I’m supposed to focus on this one particular site. It’s fine enough, if you’re into watching chicks drink semen. It’s not my bag, but the chicks are hot.

Visit the site: www.spermswallowers.com

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Sloppy Gaggers Website Review

by The Caveman (admin)

Not thinking sloppy right now

Not thinking sloppy right now

The site: sloppygaggers.com

The price:$2.95 Trial, $29.95 a Month

The verdict: Like the site, really like the network. No complaints. 7 out of 10.

[rating:7/10] (7/10)

To join, click here:www.sloppygaggers.com

I love to fuck me some throat. I prefer to go as deep as I possibly can and touch ONLY the wind pipe/larynx area. I hate lips and teeth – they can all fuck off. If I can get jiggy with a voice box, I am in neck heaven.

A side question here – is there any other kind of “gagger” besides a sloppy one? I mean – have you ever seen anyone eloquently gagging on a pulsating cock? That sort of activity is pretty much synonymous with sloppy, is it not? I submit that it is, Watson.

Their “gimmick” is that they’re a gagging and blowjob site, with an emphasis on sloppy and wet blowjob. Fuckin’ A…I like that shit. I’ve actually had a few Bjs in my day that were more clinical than sloppy – and they were shit. When I get road head, I prefer the front seat area of the car to look like an alien has just given birth. I’m down with sloppy.

I’m also down with $3 trial memberships- because, well…who the fuck isn’t? That, and the fact that if you join this site you also get access to all of the sites in its network (about a dozen or so) – all of which are pro sites with very regular updates. Good deal whether or not gagging is your thing, because you get the other sites which include Asian porn, stockings/legs, leashes, backstabbers and more.

If you do wander on to this site, check out Larissa. She’s a brunette whore that swallows cock like raw oysters. Although her tits are rarely paid attention to in her scenes, they are perfectly small for me. But the best part is how far she can jam a meat monster down her throat without passing out. This chick could satisfy a flagpole.

Like the site, really like the network. No complaints.

Visit the site: www.sloppygaggers.com

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Semen Slurpers Website Review

by The Caveman (admin)

slurp!

Slurp!

The site: semenslurpers.com

The price:$1.00 trial, $24.95 a month

The verdict: Really nice BJ site (nice network too). The ladies are a notch above many other sites, but not too plastic. Loves it! 8 out of 10.

[rating:8/10] (8/10)

To join, click here:www.semenslurpers.com

With all of these fucking diet crazes going around, it’s a wonder we’re not all fucking bone-thin. I wonder if anyone has created a sperm diet yet? All semen, all the time. That shit would work for me, until I died from ingesting absolutely nothing for several days. I don’t do cum eating – but my bitches had better.

And I would take any one of the bitches on this site as my lawfully wedded wife. My beautiful, cum sucking, stranger-dick chugging, blown-out-assholed, will-fuck-any-random-cock-for-a-buck wife. I mean that with all of my blackened heart. They are all gorgeous, and they all seem to enjoy being treated like a cum receptacle and a cock warmer. Ina word, they are all perfect.

This is not so much a degradation site as many other cum slurping sites I have been to. Lots of them have naer-do-wells eating cum off of public toilet seats, drinking It out of shoes and other nasty shit. This one is a straight-up, sloppy BJ site, where they swallow every drop of man milk at the end of the ride. Because of that, I think they are able to get a better stable of honeys. When you reach a certain level of decadence, the super hotties won’t come to play. This site doesn’t cross that line.

Join the site now for $1 (3 day trial membership). If you have read many of my other reviews, you know that I always push these $1, $3 and $5 trial memberships. They are fucking perfect. You spend next to nothing and get 3-5 days of porn for nearly free. And there is no obligation to buy anything else if you don’t want to. It’s a match made in vagina heaven.

And finally, this is not your father’s blow job site. But of course you already knew that, as that one is called YourDadsBlowJobSite.com and features you old man’s scabbed over wiggler getting sucked by your toothless Aunt Gena. But what I really meant is that BJ sites are not just neck-up mouth action these days – they show full service, many times including anal.

Really nice BJ site (nice network too). The ladies are a notch above many other sites, but not too plastic. Loves it!

Visit the site: www.semenslurpers.com

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Sexy Cum Swappers Website Review

by The Caveman (admin)

grrrr

GRRRR!!!!!!!

The site: sexycumswappers.com

The price:$1.00 trial, $24.94 a month

The verdict: Good site if you’re into watching girls spit stranger cum into each others’ mouths. 6 out of 10.

[rating:6/10] (6/10)

To join, click here:www.sexycumswappers.com

When I was a pubescent lad, I always wondered what a shot of splooge would taste like. I mean – I saw lots of films and pictures of chicks that seemed to think it was better than fucking truffles. I never tried it, though – I was too scared it’d make me like dick. I did get down with a golden shower once in high school…but that’s a story for another day.

Sexy Cum Swappers is one of those new fangled cum swap sites. You know – -where a dude blows chowder into one of the sluts’ word holes, then she spits said semen into another, more pathetic whore’s mouth. That whore then eats it or exchanges it for something else – sort of like a ball-suds barter session.

I gotta get my honest on, here. I think chicks spitting sperm into other chicks’ mouths is bordering on disgusting. That’s just me, though – I can see how it’d turn some of you on. Shit – some of you would never sleep again if you knew what REALLY turns me on. But this? Every time I see this, it makes my throat feel like I just ate a spoonful of warm Crisco.

But the chicks are awesome. ;)

$1.00 gets you 3. 3 days that is. There’s not a cheaper trial period on the internet, and there’s certainly not more bang for your buck. That’s because when you join this cum-change extravaganza, you also get access to FIFTY additional sites- all of which have differing themes and constantly have top shelf poon tang.

Good site if you’re into watching girls spit stranger cum into each others’ mouths.

Visit the site: www.sexycumswappers.com

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Shots Of Cum Website Review

by The Caveman (admin)

THATS NOT A FULL SHOT GLASS!

THATS NOT A FULL SHOT GLASS!

The site: shotsofcum.com

The price:$1.00 trial, $24.95 a month

The verdict: I love the chicks and the fucking on this site, but watching chicks drink shots of cum from a glass does nothing for me, except make me dry heave. 6 out of 10.

[rating:6/10] (6/10)

To join, click here:www.shotsofcum.com

I was just thinking – the only places I have ever shot my load are on my own chest, on the shower floor, on and in various female body parts, in a towel, on a parking meter, in the glove compartment of a taxi cab and on a double cheeseburger from Round Robin. Never once in a shot glass. Well, I’ll be damned – there’s a new year’s resolution just waiting to happen.

With billions of porn sites available, they are all trying to find their own gimmick to sell memberships. I can dig that – and as a matter of fact, I am glad they do, just to try to mix things up a bit. Also, I am all for chick gulping loads of semen from my meat cup. But for some reason, I just can’t get into watching chicks drink splooge from glass. I like the fucking a LOT on this up to that point, but then I have to run outside and cum in my mailbox. It’s just a thing that I have to do man – don’t knock it ’till you try it.

Where has this Tiana Lynn chick been all of my masturbatory life? I know where she is now – she’s on this site and in my fantasies. Tiana is a gorgeous young chick (claims to be a teen, I’d say early 20s) that has the eyes of a cat, the tits of a goddess and the pussy of a foreign diplomat (they have really, really nice vaginas). She’s also a squirter. Oh – and she drinks cum like it’s free Jaegermeister shots at a bachelorette party.

Lots of sites have $3 and $5 trials. That’s pretty impressive – for fucking pussies. This one has ONE dollar trial memberships. The last time I got a nut for $1, I was out of the wax paper that I usually use to jerk off with (what…like you don’t?), and I had to use a dollar bill. Not quite as slick, but a little sexier with the founder of our country licking my cock and staring my right in the eyes, down to my soul. It was pretty hot.

I love the chicks and the fucking on this site, but watching chicks drink shots of cum from a glass does nothing for me, except make me dry heave.

Visit the site: www.shotsofcum.com

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Real Blowjob Auditions Website Review

by The Caveman (admin)

Okay, you passed the first round

Okay, you passed the first round

The site: realblowjobauditions.com

The price:$1.00 trial, $24.95 a month

The verdict: $1.00 for 3 days. How’s that for a first-sentence-of-a-paragraph? That’s what it’s all about — great porn on the cheap. And a full time membership is less than $25 – -which is cheaper than the average. And this site – -as well as the dozens of additional sites that you get for free with a full membership — are way better than average. Excellent deal here. 7.5 out of 10.

[rating:7.5/10] (7.5/10)

To join, click here:www.realblowjobauditions.com

Ever sucked a cock at an audition? Of course you have! We all have…haven’t we? No?!? You mean that I was duped when I interviewed at McDonald’s and had to suck the manager’s dick? Same with my interview at Target? Awww shit…man! I need to go gurgle — and cancel my job interview at We-Suck-Dicks-Mart!

This site mixes up starlets with new cummers — all of them hot and all of them taking the dong to the tonsils. In addition to the “audition” tapes (and I realize they are not really auditions, although the actual auditions looked exactly like this I’m sure) — there are hundreds of regular porntapes/movies featuring BJs.

The nice thing about this site is that they have user ratings on each of the videos. You can watch a girl suck a dingy and then vote on how she did (not sure how that’d working your particular case seeing as how you’ve never experienced one of these “blow jobs” – -but hey, give it a run anyway, huh?). For example– Brandi got one of the highest ratings in there free area at a 4.2stars (out of 5). She’s a short-haired blondie with a beautiful smile and absolutely perfect, hand-sized titties. And she could suck the calories out of a bratwurst. Sexy as shit — why in the FUCK she didn’t get 5 out of 5 stars is way beyond me!

Rinse and repeat boys — there are MANY “audition” tapes of many girls here on RBA. Many. And what a stable of chicks, man. Incredible. I love sites where we get to “meet” the girls — sites with some faces and personalities, rather than just a dumping grounds for DVDs. Yes, this site has a lot of DVDs, but it also gives us some “real” girls to sink our cocks into.

$1.00 for 3 days. How’s that for a first-sentence-of-a-paragraph? That’s what it’s all about — great porn on the cheap. And a full time membership is less than $25 – -which is cheaper than the average. And this site – -as well as the dozens of additional sites that you get for free with a full membership — are way better than average. Excellent deal here.

Visit the site: www.realblowjobauditions.com

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Porn Website Review

by The Caveman (admin)

porn

Tastes like chicken.

The site: porn.com

The price:$4.99 – 3 day trial

The verdict: This is it — the Grandaddy of all porn sites. It is impossible to forget the name, and after you first visit it will be impossible for you to forget the content too! 10 out of 10.

[rating:10/10] (10/10)

To join, click here: www.porn.com

This is the part of the review where I usually tell some funny story or shitty joke. Not this time. This is no laughing matter. This is Porn.com This is big time shit.

The fellers over at Pimp Roll (one of our favorite outfits) just paid like 10 billion Dollars or some shit to buy this domain name. Any hack could use Porn.com as a domain name, throw up a few scabs getting donged by a few beefcakes, and make some cash. But these guys didn’t want to “Settle.” They went the extra mile — then went about 100 more. Very impressive.

The first thing that anyone will notice when they grease up and get on Porn.com is the outstanding clarity and quality of their videos and pictures. Okay — maybe not the *first* thing. That would probably be the stellar stable of split-tails that they have on hand. Their chicks are all rising stars in the biz — Tori Black (one of my favorite brunettes), Mikayla (another one of my favorite brunettes), Hillary Scott, Dani Woodward, Jana Cova, Carli Banks — a star-studded cast to be sure. And that is only 1/1983 of their cast. I’m not kidding — they have over 11,900 porn stars available on this site. UN-FUCKING-REAL.

If you’re anything like me (God save your soul), you can’t get very far into the site without blacking out and “waking up” 20 minutes later with your pants around your ankles, an empty bottle of Jergen’s and a half-smoked square hanging from your lips. But if you have a little more self-control, you will notice that there are literally THOUSANDS of videos available on this site. Check this shit — they have over 4,900 hours of video which apparently is also 1.91 Terabytes (for all you dot com nerds). And those numbers will continue to grow, considering they update this motherfucker every single day of the fucking year. All 366 of them (it’s a leap year, remember?)! My cock is chapped just thinking about that shit.

Oh — and these sumbitches must be crazier than a shit-house rat — not only did they pay 200 billion for this site (or some shit), they are also practically giving away 3 day trials. $5.00 will get you one right now. I did the math, and that is about 1 penny for every 100 hours of porn (I didn’t say I did the math correctly, now did I?). It’s a little money for possibly the best porn site on the internet, that is for sure. Skip the bratwurst and fries today, Tubby, and buy yourself some porn instead.

This is it — the Grandaddy of all porn sites. It is impossible to forget the name, and after you first visit it will be impossible for you to forget the content too!

Visit the site: www.porn.com

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Cum Challenge Website Review

by The Devil (admin)

Cum Challenge Sample Photo

She's definitely up for the challenge.

The site: cumchallenge.com

The price:$29.86/month

The verdict: I like the fun sites like this, but I can’t stomach the cum eating and shit like that. All-in-all, it’s not half bad. 6 out of 10.

[rating:6/10] (6/10)

To join, click here:www.cumchallenge.com

I once beat off for 1 hour and eleven minutes before I was able to cum. I fucked up and joined a porn site featuring retarded, hirsute chicks in wheelchairs. I had no idea that I was not turned on by that sort of thing. I finally got a nut when the chick in the electric wheelchair shit herself and started clapping and crying at the same time.This is another of those fun-type sites that combines fucking and sucking with games and chicanery. If you want a serious fucks site, steer clear (and lighten up, pussy). Basically there are several different “challenges” presented to the gals and guys – things like suck off 4 loads of cum, glaze her eyes shut, etc.

In addition to it being light-hearted and fun, it also has a lot of good BJ scenes. The chicks are the sexy, girl-next-door starlet types who are trying to break into the biz full-time, or just such horrible sluts that they can’t get enough cock. Either way, I like this type of chick much more than the bombshell type.

The downside for me was the cum drinking and eating. I’m all for a swallower, but just swallow and get it over with. This one has chicks spitting in each others mouths, making cum soup and drinking it, eating cum through funnels, etc. I know there is a fan base for that, but I’d rather watch a hobo take a shit on a pizza box than stuff like that.

It is part of a fairly solid network, though. $30 will get you all of the sites, and there are about a dozen of them. All of them have the same type of starlets, with differing themes – mostly extreme shit, but some other silly stuff and some CFNM stuff as well. Nothing Earth shattering, but I don’t have anything really awful to say about them either. On the whole, they are better than average.

I like the fun sites like this, but I can’t stomach the cum eating and shit like that. All-in-all, it’s not half bad.

… 6 out of 10

Visit the site: www.cumchallenge.com

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