Cream Pie

Movie Access Website Review

by The Caveman (admin)

do you smell fish?

Do you smell fish?

The site: movieaccess.com

The price:$4.95 – 3 day trial

The verdict: Trust us on this — one day this will be how all movies are watched — porn AND mainstream. And to think you can get in on the ground floor. 10 out of 10.

[rating:10/10] (10/10)

To join, click here:www.movieaccess.com

This site is the new way of porn. Get used to this if you aren’t already — you’ll be seeing more and more of it. Instead of a certain *type* of porn, or a certain theme, this is like Netflix for porn — a Slutflix, if you will. Possibly a Cockbuster. There are thousands (see below) of movies to choose from, but even better than Netflix, you don’t have to sit at the mailbox with your dork in your hand — you watch them right there on your computer.

Check this shit out — over THREE THOUSAND DVDs are available here. That adds up to over FIVE FUCKING THOUSAND hours of rubbing material. Your cock would be a bloody stump if you used this entire site up. In other words — you will NEVER run out of material on this site. Oh — you think you’re some kind of stud, motherfucker? You think you could finfish it? Okay, then — get this — if you do — then there are over THIRTY other sites included with your membership. Get strokin’, Superman.

How much would you horn dogs pay for this much shit? Remember the old days when you had to go to the movie store, slink into the back like a trench-coat creep and rent them one by one? At about $3 or more a pop, this amount of material would cost you just under $10,000. Lucky for you, porn has evolved and the internet was invented. Now you can get access for about the price of ONE of those movies in the old days. Ever heard of a deal like 3,000 for the price of 1? You have now — 3 Days for $4.95. 7 days for $9.95. A full month comes in at $39.95. This deal is – just like your sore dick when you are done here – can’t be beat

They are very well categorized and the site is set up as user friendly as any we’ve seen. Every mainstream category that you’d think of, straight, gay, lesbian and everything in between. They have a link for new releases, most popular (Try Wild Party Girls 19 — a classic), and =you can search your favorite star or by film title. If you’re a REAL big, major league creepy dude you can even search by studio. We shudder to think of those of you who have a favorite STUDIO!

Trust us on this — one day this will be how all movies are watched — porn AND mainstream. And to think you can get in on the ground floor.

Visit the site: www.movieaccess.com

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My Favorite Creampies Website Review

by The Caveman (admin)

its my favorite too

Bitch ate my favorite cream pie.

The site: myfavoritecreampies.com
The price:$2.95 trial, $24.88/month (recurring)

The verdict: Because I am the mental equivalent of a 14-year-old I’m going to give the site a 7.0. If I was mature in the least bit, I’m sure I’d find it sexy and would rate it an 8.5 7 out of 10.

[rating:7/10] (7/10)

To join, click here:www.myfavoritecreampies.com

My favorite cream pie is coconut. The vaginal creampie scares me.

See, I’m the kind of fella that sees anything that could result in pregnancy as an outright horror flick.

Facials? Pinnacle of sexy.

Traditional money shot? There is a reason most movies end this way. It’s safe

Condom? Wrapped up is even safer.

Creampie? Freddy and Jason making me fuck a bag of razorblades kind of scary.

I’m an adult. Have been for a long time now, but anytime the prospect of being a father comes up I go limp, physically, mentally and emotionally. Why the hell would anyone want to subject themselves to this by purposely letting off an unprotected load in a cooter? Even more mystifying, why would someone find it appealing enough to watch it in a porn?

Obviously I’m a neurotic asshole ‘cause these creampie sites are popping up all over the place. As a straight up fuck site, myfavoritecreampies.com is satisfying. The girls here have that unquantifiable sexy amateur vibe, plenty of exclusive content, access to all of the sites of allexclusivepass.com at a fair price.

Because I am the mental equivalent of a 14-year-old I’m going to give the site a 7.0. If I was mature in the least bit, I’m sure I’d find it sexy and would rate it an 8.5. At least. But I’m not mature and you love me because of it. Booger breath.

Visit the site: www.myfavoritecreampies.com

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All Adult Pass Website Review

by The Devil (admin)

all-adult-pass
The site: alladultpass.com
The price:$1.00 trial, $24.95 month

The verdict: Not a whole lot more can be said about the deal of the century. If you pass on it, then I hope you like full balls 10 out of 10.

[rating:10/10] (10/10)

To join, click here:www.alladultpass.com

We’ve reviewed lots of multi-site sites, many of them offering 20, 30 — even 50 sites for one price. As far as we can recall, we’ve never reviewed a site that gave you access to this many sites at one monthly rate. How about NINETY sites for the price of one. 90!!! Nine-fucking-ty! Nine Zero! Nin– awwww….you get the point.

Okay — here’s a list of what you get: Just kidding — you think I’m going to sit here and list off 90 websites? Jesus, man — I have some masturbating to do when I get done with telling you about this site. If you think I’m gonna cut into my jerking time to list for you every single site you get when you join, you’re out of your fucking mind. But I will tell you that if you can’t find LOTS of shit to get your nuts churning to amongst 90 sites, then you need to get to that old Dr. Ruth cunt as soon as possible and find out what the fuck your problem is.

As you might imagine, 90 sites cover an astounding variety of themes. Teens, Black, Interracial, Feet, BJs, Prostitutes, Voyeur, Squirting, MILFs, Spanking, Big Tits and Ass Sex — to name a FEW of the genres you’ll find. Oh — and in case you’re worried, these aren’t shit bag, throw away sites. We consider the makers of this site to be among the best in the business. They have a shitload of pride in their sites. They get the hottest off the street girls that money can buy. You will NOT be disappointed if you like amateurish sites with hot chicks and sexy fucking.

Okay…now sit down because this will knock your dick into next week. You get three days worth of access to all 90 of these sites for ONE DOLLAR! Let’s do the math, Einstein — that is just over ONE PENNY PER HOUR of porn. Good Christ, that’s a deal. And even when the three days are up, you can renew at $24.95 per month. That is on the low end of monthly fees for the majority of pron sites – -and don’t forget that you get NINETY of them for this price.

Not a whole lot more can be said about the deal of the century. If you pass on it, then I hope you like full balls

… 10 out of 10

Visit the site: www.alladultpass.com

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