Licorice lips.
The site: smoke4you.com
The price:$1.00 trial, $29.95 per month
The verdict: This kind of fetish is certainly appealing for some but not this hardcore smoker. I’d rather live it. 4 out of 10.
Rating: 
(4/10)
To join, click here:www.smoke4you.com
Smoking has been a joyful pass time for yours truly for the better part of two decades. I smoke two packs a day and recently had a bout with tounge cancer. The Dr. Mengele style surgeons cut my pink clit tickler out through the throat. Now I’m smoking through a hole in my neck. I suppose I should feel some kind of remorse for ruining my good looks but my only regret is that I can no longer enjoy the full smooth flavor of a menthol.
Personal addictions aside, I’ve never cared for watching bitches smoking on a web site. Smoke4You is no exception.
There is something insanely pleasurable about picking up a smokey bar skank and having her coat your pecker with her nicotine infused mouth lube. Nicotine can be absorbed through the skin you know. That kind of bliss cannot be translated in pics and movies.
What’s worse is that I could find no sexuality what so ever on Smoke 4 You. What the site does have is several haggard looking addicts with diseased raccoon eyes sucking on a butt. Yech.
Content is kinda sparse for a site that’s asking for $29.95 every month to watch sexless skags slowly killing themselves without so much as a single smoke stained bean flicking caught on film.
This kind of fetish is certainly appealing for some but not this hardcore smoker. I’d rather live it.
4 out of 10
Visit Smoke4You.com
Ack Ack Ack.
The site: fetishmuse.com
The price:$19.95 per month
The verdict: $20 will get you a monthly to this here Fetish Muse, which is not too bad if you can dig only photos of an international fetish sensation. Not for me, but hey — knock yourself out 6 out of 10.
Rating: (6/10)
To join, click here:www.fetishmuse.com
How much do you shitheads want to believe that I’ve actually fucked a bald bitch? Fuckin’ A right I have! I fucked her hard, too. Everything was nearly the same as fucking a haired chick, except the cleanup from when I came on her head was predictably easier for her, and for some reason she shouted, “Who loves ya, baby!” when she had an orgasm.
FetishMuse.com site is patrolled by something called a Kummimonster. A Kummimonster is apparently a bald, half Irish, half Korean fetish model. Actually — she’s not as bad as it sounds…except for the bald part. But she does wear a lot of crazy wigs from time to time as she get tied up and has objects shoved into her cunt.
Here’s the real downer — no videos on FetishMuse. There are tens of thousands of artsy, high quality fetish photos — most of them really really fantastic — but no fancy moving pictures. I need some movement to get off. Pics are for cavemen.
$20 will get you a monthly to this here Fetish Muse, which is not too bad if you can dig only photos of an international fetish sensation. Not for me, but hey — knock yourself out.
6 out of 10
Visit FetishMuse.com
Don't shoot me with that dildo!
The site: erotiquedigitale.com
The price:$19.95 per month
The verdict: Really nice site if you are advanced enough for it. 8 out of 10.
Rating: (8/10)
To join, click here:www.erotiquedigitale.com
I am firmly convinced that a really good photographer’s talents are rivaled only by those of a magician. And I’m not talking a puffy-shirted, big-haired Vegas piece of shit magician, either. I mean a motherfucker that can shoot real magic out of his ass. A truly great photographer can take a picture of Janet Reno eating out the ass end of a menstruating dairy cow and make it look good enough for the Pope to get a nut inside of 60 seconds.
Kelly Lind is that type of photographer. That’s not to say that this chicks on his site, ErotiqueDigitale.com, are ugly. Quite the opposite — they are some of the hottest pieces of artsy ass I have ever laid eyes upon. But I can also tell you that this Lind feller makes them exponentially hotter, which all results in the head of your cock exploding like a watermelon being shot by a tank.
If you are looking for low brow, grainy cunt films to squirt your hammer to, fuck off. This is very artsty, very high class shit, right here. There aren’t fuck videos, but there are chicks frigging themselves in some of the clearest, most sophisticated ways that you’ve ever seen. And then some.
$20 will get your boner in the door for a full month. That’s 2 updates per week of the highest quality shit you will ever see. Seriously — I’m about as redneck as they get, and generally my idea of art is a well built beeramyd — but this shit is really, really well done and even a piece of shit like me can appreciate that.
Really nice site if you are advanced enough for it.
8 out of 10
Visit ErotiqueDigitale.com
The site: domkarin.com
The price:$19.99 10 day trial then $23.99 per month
The verdict: You need to go see all of the freebies on DomKarin.com, but trust me on this one — if you want a very personable, easy to get to know dom who takes care of her members and runs a very good, fetish site…Dom Karin is definitely right up there with the best of them. 9 out of 10.
Rating: (9/10)
To join, click here:www.domkarin.com
I have never been able to let myself go completely and let a chick take total control over me. I’m not sure that I could ever do that, but if I did, I would want the chick to be very large and very powerful. That way she could snap my neck like a chicken’s if things got too tough for me to handle.
If you like your ladies skinner than a molecule and more dominating than Godzilla in Chinatown, you just might dig on DomKarin.com. First things first — she’s skinny as fuck. She has more ribs showing than a smokehouse in Memphis. That shit’s cool with me — I like my bitches waify — but if you’re a hogger or just want someone who’s thicker, she’s not for you.
Dom Karin likes to have the reigns. That is — she’s a dominatrix. A very forceful and powerful dominatrix, who loves her craft so much she now does it online on DomKarin.com for you and I to stare at and jerk off to. Nice lady, ain’t she?
She fancies herself a photographer of sorts, so you will see a huge collection of fetish-themed photography. If you join DomKarin you will also get access to all of her videos of her dominating the fuck out of men. Flogging, caning, spanking and generally beating the shit out of them until they act the way she wants them to – then she fucks them.
$20 will get you a ten day trial, then you can join for $23.99 per month. If you have an extra hundred laying around, you can get 150 days of her shiznit (that works out to $20 per month).
You need to go see all of the freebies on DomKarin.com, but trust me on this one — if you want a very personable, easy to get to know dom who takes care of her members and runs a very good, fetish site…Dom Karin is definitely right up there with the best of them.
9 out of 10
Visit DomKarin.com
She stabbed a Vulcan
The site: ricksavage.com
The price:$1.00 trial
The verdict: I really, really liked the feel of this site. Very dark shit, but this is the place to be if you’re into that sort of thing. 10 out of 10.
Rating: (10/10)
To join, click here:www.ricksavage.com
I thought Rick Savage was a rocker with the 80s hair metal band Def Leppard? I don’t want to watch some old, fat, washed up musician dragging his decrepit, barely-animated pseudo-boner across the snouts of has-been groupies!!
Oh…wrong Rick Savage. Sorry ’bout that, folks. This one here is apparently a master at the art of bondage. RickSavage.com purports to have over 200 bondage videos. I did not check those stats for accuracy, but the videos that I did see on RickSavage were very dark, sinister and very, very good.
Obviously, I have been to a ton of fetish and bondage sites. Lots of them that claim to be true fetish/bondage sites just aren’t. They have a chick or two in pleather with their hands bound by a silk ribbon. Fuck that sissy shit. Rick here knows what the fuck he’s doing.
First of all, the videos have a very nice amateur quality to them. No bright studio lights and “barie doll” models getting lightly tapped on the ass. These are REAL chicks (still hot, just not unrealistically so), who are getting fucking tied up so hard their circulation is cut off. There are LOTS of props involved including, but not limited to, clothes pins, clamps, 2 X 4s, ball gags, ropes, scissors, rakes — fucking lots of crazy shit. Very, very nice usage of the props here.
$1.00 trial memberships are available, which is always the route I advise you go at first (and I NEVER pass up a $1.00 trial). Keep going and you pay $39.95 for a 30 day membership. That seems steep at first, but in addition to the stellar content on Rick Savage, you also get full access to at least 30 more fetish sites. When they put it that way, it’s really a pretty sweet deal.
I really, really liked the feel of this site. Very dark shit, but this is the place to be if you’re into that sort of thing.
10 out of 10
Visit RickSavage.com
There better be a gentleman there to hold the door open.
The site: xanthia-doll.com
The price:$16.95 per month
The verdict: Lack of updates gets her demoted, but existing content is good. 6 out of 10.
Rating: (6/10)
To join, click here:www.xanthia-doll.com
I used to do Xanthia. It was good shit, but I always woke up somewhere where I shouldn’t have been in the first place, let alone sleeping there, and more often than not I awoke with an oblong object in my ass and a half smoked cigar in my mouth.
Oh — so Xanthia’s a chick and not a drug, huh? Hmmm…I must have been thinking of Ecstasy. Anyhoo — XanthiaDoll.com features Xanthia (predictably), a busty, wild, freaky fetish model with pink hair and nice, plump tits. She digs on fishnet stockings, latex, heels and some more shit you like. Any of you fuckers watch the show Mad Men? Think Joan, the busty, red headed secretary. That’s Xanthia’s style.
You wanna know more about Xanthia? No problem — she’s an open book. In fact, you can get to know her as much more than almost any other starlet just by reading her bio on her site. Xanthia is as accessible as about any other I have seen. Nice touch, Xanthia Doll!
And cheap? You bet your horny ass she is. $17 will get you a full month. That’s nearly half as expensive as most 30 day memberships on most sites.
The downside, and it could be a big one for you, is her lack of updates. We haven’t seen any in quite a while. Her existing content is quite spectacular if you’re into fetish, but don’t plan on staying forever, as she doesn’t appear to update much.
Lack of updates gets her demoted, but existing content is good.
6 out of 10
Visit Xanthia-Doll.com
Wrapped up nicely.
The site: bondageforte.com
The price:$29.95 initial month, $19.95 per month thereafter.
The verdict: You have to get up pretty early in the morning — with a raging bit of morning wood — to beat these fuckers. And even then, it doesn’t look like you’ll win. 9 out of 10.
Rating: (9/10)
To join, click here:www.bondageforte.com
I would like to have several chicks strung up from the ceiling, in ropes, posed in various positions. It would be sort of like my own home fuck gym, where I did circuits of 3 sets of ten cock pumps inside of each chick, then move to the next. When i was done, I would feed each one a bowl of gruel and a pint of Guinness, then turn off the light and revisit them the next morning for another go ’round.
BondageForte.com isn’t quite as cool as my dream scenario, but let’s be honest — that shit was just a pipe dream anyway. This site is just about as cool as things could get in real life bondage, though. Let me say this shit — if you like very hot, but “real” chicks being suspended, bound with rope or plastic wrap or bungee cords or whatever else, shot in very high quality still pictures and videos, I can’t say that I’ve ever come across a better place to get it than BondageForte.
The pics and videos are somewhat artsy, but don’t mistake that to mean boring or over the top art shit. They are very, very well done, but also pretty fucking hot. The chicks still look like the chick next door that you might have a shot at, as opposed to some of the artsy bondage sites with chicks that look like they are straight off the Paris runway.
And new content is not a problem here. They update twice a week, every week. Shit — I got to this site at 6 in the morning and they had already updated it that very day that I was there. You have to get up pretty early in the morning — with a raging bit of morning wood — to beat these fuckers. And even then, it doesn’t look like you’ll win.
You first month will be a standard $30, but then they cut the ropes and whack $10 off of your membership, leaving you at $20 per month from there on out. It’s definitely worth $20 to hang on to Bondage Forte, as it’s a very genuine, fetish specific site. Excellent stuff here.
9 out of 10
Visit BondageForte.com
A dude in a wheel chair is going to clumsily fuck her
The site: jositoswill.com
The price:$29.99 per month
The verdict: It’s a gimmick, sure — but it’s also damn good smut. 7.5 out of 10
I’ve seen a lot of shit in my years of reviewing porn. For example, I once saw a dude fuck a chick with a wagon wheel. Don’t ask. That being said, I have never seen the shit that I just saw here at Josito’s Will.
Josito is a paraplegic. That means his getaway sticks don’t work. That also usually means that his cock is as useless as tits on a boar. But Josito is a little different. His boner has defied all of the medical doctors and the laws and rules of nature. His dick still works, despite being paralyzed from the waist down. It’s hard to keep a good cock down.
That’s pretty much the hook for JositosWill.com. It works for me. Tell me a dude is paralyzed but he can and does still fuck lots of hot chicks, I’m sold. Why? Don’t know — but I bet many of you are in that boat with me.
And yes — I said hot. I expected to see a couple of crack whores, but I was dead wrong. Jostio is actually a good looking dude and let’s be honest, gals — who wouldn’t want to have a story about fucking a paraplegic right in his wheelchair? You could tell everyone that you are so fucking good, you can make a paraplegic get a fucking hard on.
JositosWill and 30 other sites are $30 per month — total. That’s a buck a site per month, for those of you keeping score at home. Well worth the cabbage for this site alone, and a hell of a deal when everything else is thrown in.
It’s a gimmick, sure — but it’s also damn good smut.
7.5 out of 10
Visit JositosWill.com
Peeky, peeky!
The site: totallybrunette.com
The price:$0.97 trial, $34.95 per month
The verdict: Good enough to spend a buck on, that’s for sure. 7 out of 10.
Rating: (7/10)
To join, click here:www.totallybrunette.com
I still can’t decide if I like blondes or brunettes better. My preference changes each time I fuck on or the other. And sometimes, a negative experience will turn me off of one or the other for a while. Like the time I fucked a slutty blonde and my cock smelled like pickled bar eggs for a week. It was a long time before I dipped Ol’ Mickey into a fair-hair again.
Okay — the talent is very nice, the site sticks to its theme of brunettes and the videos are all very high quality. That being said, I could take the name off the top and shuffle it with hundreds of other, nearly identical sites and I would never remember it. In other words, it’s nice, but not memorable.
The one thing that is memorable is the $1.00, 3 day trial. I snatch up every one of these I can. You’ve got nothing to lose except for a dollar. Don’t act like a dollar is a big deal, man. And don’t give me that recession bullshit. You are not too god damned concerned with money since, instead of working, you are surfing for snapper on you computer with high speed internet. Fucking spend the buck and empty your nuts.
Good enough to spend a buck on, that’s for sure.
7 out of 10
Visit TotallyBrunette.com
The site: szandora.com
The price:$19.95 per month
The verdict: It was a bit artsy for my taste, and not enough sex — but well done, nonetheless. 6 out of 10.
Rating: (6/10)
To join, click here:www.szandora.com
Szandora! The S is silent, motherfuckers!
That would be the tag line of this site if I owned it. Alas, I do not, and hers happens to be “Supermodel, Makeup artist, Hula Performer, Devil Girl…” Huh…and I thought MY idea was weird.
I must admit, I did not know of Szandora or Szandora.com before today. Apparently, if she’s telling the truth, she’s some sort of goth/punk fetish icon. I will take her at her word, as she does have lots of fetish stuff going on on this here site. Lots of latex, collars, chains and the like.
Szandra herself is cute with large tits. Not huge, just large. She’s obviously cut from a different cloth, but I like my chicks freaky, so I’m good with that.
Her site is not necessarily my bag. It’s more of a fetish/fashion/bondage/artsy site than anything else. Yes there is nudity and, if you are into bondage, probably lots of stuff that would turn what’s soft to hard — but that’s about it in the way of sex.
It is less than $20 per month to join, so at least the price is lower than an average skin site.
It was a bit artsy for my taste, and not enough sex — but well done, nonetheless.
6 out of 10
Visit Szandora.com
