Fetish

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The site: fetishhotel.com

The price:Free Trial, $39.98 per month

The verdict: Fetish is a finicky thing – you either like what you see right off the bat or you don’t I think this site has a lot of potential for many of you, but for others it will not be extreme enough. Only you can decide, mofos – -so go check it out for yourself. 7 out of 10.

I think they should actually create some fetish hotels if they don’t already have them. Super 8 could start a chain of Super 69 hotels. All rooms would have chains hanging from the ceiling, a ball gag on the pillow and all rubber sheets. The suites could come with a depressed and submissive runaway, all tied up and ready to go!

I can’t decide if the true fetish lovers will like this site or brand it a fraud and move on. I suppose it depends on your level of depth into the fetish scene. If you just dig masks and some black latex in your porn – you will have no problems getting into this, as they have a ton of incredibly hot chick engaging in light BDSM and leather play.

If you are a hardcore/extreme fetishist that needs to see some genuine pain to get off, or if you think that masks and a few chains and rubber is nothing at all compared to what you need to get a nut – then this site probably isn’t your bag.

But the main thing you should do is check it out, because to each his own when it comes to fetishes, and I have no fucking idea what makes your nuts boil. I can tell you that the work is very professional, with high quality video and all professional casts.

The site is also part of a huge network of sites that are all included when you join this one site. And you can get yourself a pretty cheap taste of it. How does fucking free sound? Yeah — I thought that was pretty cheap myself. Free 3 day trials to get your whistle (and underwear) wet.

Fetish is a finicky thing – you either like what you see right off the bat or you don’t I think this site has a lot of potential for many of you, but for others it will not be extreme enough. Only you can decide, mofos – -so go check it out for yourself.

… 7 out of 10

Visit the site: www.fetishhotel.com

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Senior picture.

The site: footsiebabes.com

The price:$0.95 trial, $29.95 first month, $24.95 thereafter

The verdict: Not terribly bad. Actually, there are a lot of really hot chicks and some decent porn (very clear and well shot). I just like my fetish porn a little more focused in. 6 out of 10.

I wonder if there has ever been anyone born with a birth defect that planted a sex organ right on top of their foot? Like a juicy pussy, with a clit squished right in between the big and 2nd toes? Or a veiny cock loped over the side of the arch? Man I hope so – and I hope I find that person someday. I’d fuck the shit out of some foot-pussy. Hell, I might even suck a toe-dick, just to say I did it!

As I have said time and again, I am not a foot person. Not unless and until they have pussies on them. But a LOT of you are, and I am jealous. I really wish I could get off on a part of the body that the masses consider benign. That way I could get full public views of the body parts that I love the most. Imagine if pussies were considered non-sexual? It’d be fuckin’ SWEET to walk down the street and see chicks with their gashes hanging out all over the place.

But this site takes it a little further than what you’d see at the beach – unless you are hanging out at beaches where dudes are jerking off and cumming all over feet, or where chicks are giving guys footjobs in the sand.

The best fetish sites really focus hard on the object of fetish, and everything else is filler. This site does have some decent scenes with the feet being in the forefront, but overall I think they could have made it more about the feet and less about the hot chicks getting fucked. I have actually seen some really good foot fetish sites that have no fucking whatsoever.

Do this – join the trial membership for 95 cents (c’mon – I know the economy sucks, but it’s less than one fucking dollar). Then sniff around and see if you like it. If so, it’s only $30 per month – for this and nearly 40 additional sites that are included for free.

Not terribly bad. Actually, there are a lot of really hot chicks and some decent porn (very clear and well shot). I just like my fetish porn a little more focused in.

… 6 out of 10

Visit the site: www.footsiebabes.com

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She can shoehorn a carburetor into her snatch.

The site: flexypussy.com

The price:$1.95 Trial, $29.95 first month

The verdict: Besides the sort-of-weird objects that these chicks stick in their pussies, and the fact that they are deadly hot, there is really not much else to the site. 6.5 out of 10.

I used to have a girlfriend that liked to play a drinking game called  ”Mama Can’t Fit That.” We’d lay out about 10 things or so that we’d collect from around the house/garage/storage shed and she’d try to stick them in her pussy. If she couldn’t she had to drink a beer. If she could, I had to drink one. We had to stop the game after a few months, though, when she tore a labia trying to shimmy a Dust Buster into her snatch.

This site is a little different – or at least it’s a little niched, which is better than another boring-ass fuck site or anal site that doesn’t leave me anything to remember it by. There are a wide variety of things that these super hotties frig off with – but I still think the site is not well-named. You see, the items are not necessarily large or awkwardly shaped so as to require the pussy to be all that flexible. They would have been better to call it Non-Discriminating Pussy.

For a taste of the action – here’s a few items that I saw being pussified here: a fuck machine, a dildo (yawn), a wine bottle, a pool cue, milk, a zucchini squash and the knob of a fire place poker. Not bad – but it’s pretty much all fluff until you introduce the big guns.

The good news is that the site is in HD. Fuck sites are great in HD – masturbating sites are better. That’s because they get the camera up really close to the fuck hole, and you can really see what that puppy is made of . Of course, I happen to think a pussy is the most beautiful thing ever created. If you’re one of those creeps that think a pussy is just an ugly pile of corroded skin, then you may want to stay away from HD porn.

Besides the sort-of-weird objects that these chicks stick in their pussies, and the fact that they are deadly hot, there is really not much else to the site. Definitely worth a trial membership because it’s less than a dollar, but you will have to decide for yourself if you want to re-up for the monthly. The good news is that if you do, you will get about 40 additional HD sites for free.

… 6.5 out of 10

Visit the site: www.flexypussy.com

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"Gimme that tooth!"

The site: foodbangers.com

The price:$2.99 – 3 day trial

The verdict: The membership fee is cheaper than an extra value meal at $2.99 for a 3 day trial. It’s like a Vegas buffet, food lovers — hundreds of different chicks of varying sizes, races, etc. And you will not get kicked out of this buffet for jerking off all over the place — unlike last year’s Easter brunch debacle. Yeah…I saw that shit. 7 out of 10.

I never think that I have “seen it all” — you do this business long enough like I have and you know that no matter how bizarre something is, you’ll see something more bizarre down the road. But I can honestly say, that until today I had never seen a guy fuck a plate of spaghetti. Or a rotisserie chicken. Or a glass of milk. Or a girl eat fish eggs out of a another girl’s pussy. Oh, wait — scratch that — I have seen the fish egg thing before (thanks for the childhood memories, Mom!).In case you hadn’t figured it out from the name of the site or the first paragraph — this is a site for all you foodies out there. If a roasted duck turns you on, you’ve found your nest. If you get a boner at the site of a large burrito, come…sit…relax. If you’ve been thrown out of countless buffets for jamming your cock into the green beans or the yams — welcome home. You’re not an outcast at Food Bangers…you’re a friend.

Okay – -I admit I’m having a little fun with this — but in all reality the chicks are damn hot here and the fucking is really good. I’m not so much of a food guy myself. I mean — I love to eat it, I just don’t necessarily like to butt fuck my turkey before popping it into the oven. Call me wacky. But as we always say, to each his own. We’re here to judge the quality of the videos, the quality of the pussy, the amount of content and the price you have to pay for all of it. In that respect, this site is a fucking barbecue, baby!

The Pimp Roll folks are responsible for this one. And as with all of their sites, they take pride in offering the highest quality videos. True clarity and crispness with them all. They also have a stable of women that would make Larry King blush. Lots and lots and lots of hot women on all of their sites (and you get access to the others when you join this one…). Seriously — on the women subject — this company is one of my favorites because of the amount of incredibly hot chicks they have at their beck and call.

The membership fee is cheaper than an extra value meal at $2.99 for a 3 day trial. It’s like a Vegas buffet, food lovers — hundreds of different chicks of varying sizes, races, etc. And you will not get kicked out of this buffet for jerking off all over the place — unlike last year’s Easter brunch debacle. Yeah…I saw that shit.

… 7 out of 10

Visit the site: www.foodbangers.com

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Foot Fetish Bitch Sample Photo

The site: footfetishbitch.com

The price:$1.00 Trial – $29.21 month

The verdict: All in all a decent enough site in a good network. We like it, but don’t love it. 6.5 out of 10.

Personally, I’m not a foot lover, so I have to know — do you foot fetishists think soccer players are way fucking hot? What about NFL field goal kickers? Would you like to get kicked in the nuts by Mia Hamm or Adam Vinateri? I would…but not because of the foot thing. I just like to get kicked in the nuts by famous people. My ultimate goal would be to have Larry King kick me in the nuts while wearing Andy Dick’s shoes.Anyhoo…this bitch ain’t kickin’ field goals, but I bet she’d give you a good show to the nuts if you asked her to. Her and her footise gals have hundreds, nay THOUSANDS, of foot fetish material — enough to milk a raging foot-boner 1,000 times over…and then some. Lots of content here — and in addition, when you join this site you get access to eight additional sites from the same company. They are not all foot fetish sites (jeez…expand your horizons a little you foot creep!) — but they are all fetish type sites, so maybe you can learn a thing or two!

There are some hotties here. That combined with the huge content level is a boon for the site. I didn’t care, however, for the set up and the pages. There was way too much going on. It was a little hard to follow — ads for voyeur cams that had nothing to do with feet, ads for chat rooms that had nothing to do with feet, etc. It was a very “busy” looking site. They need to simplify it so that a guy with a raging hard on can come in, find what he needs quick, and bust a nut.

Also, if you are looking for amateur style porn, go elsewhere. These are not super model or super star bitches, but they are pros nonetheless. That’s fine if you dig that — I prefer my feet to be a little more girl-next-doorish. Maybe some chipped toe nail paint, or a little toe jam would even be nice…

All in all a decent enough site in a good network. We like it, but don’t love it.

… 6.5 out of 10

Visit the site: www.footfetishbitch.com

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Photchop

The site: footville.com

The price:$4.95 Trial, $24.95 Month

The verdict: Great gals, stupid story lines. Well worth a a $5 bill for a 3 day trial -then you decide if it’s worth more time and money. 6 out of 10.

I don’t know a lot about the foot fetish culture in general. I mean -if you are a footie and you stub your toe, is that pleasure or pain? Do people shave the hair on their toes into little V shapes or landing strips? Do people prefer big, fat toes, as they do with tits or cocks? Or small, slender ones? Is there some sort of instruction manual that I can buy?

I’m not sure I will ever get the answers to my questions, so I guess I will just have to take what I get. I’ll try cranking the handle to Footville. That’s cool with me – I can definitely get off to WAY hotter than average chicks sliding off guys with their trotters.

As I said, there is no chance you will turn away from this site for the lack of heat. The ladies are nothing to scoff at. In fact, it’s a pretty impressive collection of bitches. On top of that, the videos are all of a very high, professional quality that you can only get with a well established, upscale operation like Muffia (which is the network this site is part of, a network owned by the Reality Kings).

One thing that you will love on the site whether you dig toes or not is Simony. That’s because she’s as fucking hot as they come. An incredibly gorgeous brunette with small, natural tits and a slender, toned body. And she has that natural look in eyes like she was born to fuck and get fucked. You know that look – you saw it in your Mom’s eyes when you were a lad, sucking at her teats. Simony foot-frigs this guy’s rod until he cums on her toes. Good stuff.

She’s one of tons. Every videos is a festival of feet. The thing I hate about them, though, is the stupid fucking story line that a guy named Josepee (some old tyme cobbler) has a shoe store or some shit. I don’t know – I can’t watch ridiculous cobbler porn, so I fast forwarded it to the good parts.

Great gals, stupid story lines. Well worth a a $5 bill for a 3 day trial – then you decide if it’s worth more time and money.

… 6 out of 10

Visit the site: www.footville.com

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Good God. Imagine what he would have had to ask for to make a slut like her have that reaction.

The site: freaksofporn.com

The price:$1.00 trial, $24.95 month

The verdict: Gotta see it to believe it. I loved it — a nice break from reality, and the fucking is nothing to say “boo” too! Gives new meaning to the term “monster cock!” 9.5 out of 10.

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