There's more body hair in this still shot than all of the porn movies shot in the last 5 years - combined.
The site: theclassicporn.com
The price:$29.95/Month
The verdict: Where’s the beef? It’s in my hand, motherfuckers -jerking off to this site. 7 out of 10.
The internet has changed the entire face of pornography, from the way it’s filmed to the way it’s watched. Although I LOVE the strides that porn has made, I get a bit nostalgic for the old days from time to time. The 80s were the golden age of fuck flicks. Remember when the chicks used to have pussy hair down to their kneecaps? And remember John Holmes? Damn…I miss that dude. His dick was so long he could take a shit then stir it.
The Classic Porn is a site where I can throw on my Izod G-string, feather my pubic hair and have a good jerk to the likes of Seka, John Holmes, Debbie doin’ Dallas, Tiffany Mynx – I could totally go on forever. Yeah, the films are a little grainy. And of course they’re cheesy. That’s what makes them classics. Relax a little and go back in time – when days were simpler and vaginas resembled the floor of a barber shop.
This one’s going to be a hit or miss for most of you folks. I like it because I DO remember the 1980s and how porn exploded. Ron Jeremy became a household name. Especially in your house – where your Mom jammed her pudgy fingers into her ass while watching the Hedgehog slay pussy after pussy. How could you NOT miss the 80s world of porn? Now it’s all hunks and 6-packs. Back then, guys built like you and I (except a little bigger in the junk department) could star in porn!
Of course the downside is the same as the upside -since porn has come a long way, we’ve all grown accustomed to HD videos and bald beavers. They somehow grow chicks a lot hotter, a lot younger these days. That is very evident from these old films. But don’t let that scare you away-first of all the chicks are very hot from back then -they just have a different look. And don’t you want to see a little hair every now and then? Jesus…sometimes I feel like pussies don’t even come with hair anymore.
The price is 80s-like too. You can get one month for a standard $30 per – but the real deal comes in when you join for 90 days. That’s how you get a free month. $60 is the tag for a 90 day membership.
Decent enough site if you “long” for the good old days (Get it? Long? Like Long Dong Silver? Oh, never mind…).
Where’s the beef? It’s in my hand, motherfuckers – jerking off to this site.
Visit the site: www.theclassicporn.com
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