Gallons for dick spittle

The site: freakbukkake.com

The price:$29.95 per month

The verdict: You gotta really be one fucked up individual to dig shit like this, but if you are, then I’ll tip my next Mason jar of semen to ya. 6 out of 10.

The pink top makes her a whore. The 6 other people make it a Whorgie.

Whoregies is what you call a reverse gang bang. Whoregies features videos with several chicks and only one or two guys, all fucking and sucking and licking and cumming. Lucky bastards.

She's not THAT strange...

The site: aluckystranger.com

The price:$4.97 trial, $29.95/mo

The verdict: A very unique site — we have seen others sort of like it but this one may be the best at what it does. When you throw in all of the other sites, we give it a high mark.

You think you have what it takes to be a pornstar? Fucking liar — we’ve seen your crooked, little elf dick. But there’s at least a LITTLE hope for you — if you happen to be at the right place at the right time. That is, if you are in Los Angeles when the guys who run the site A Lucky Stranger come a hoppin’ by and snatch you up, from the streets, to make you a star.

That’s what this site is all about. It’s one hell of an idea that has everyone — even HOWARD STERN — talking about it. Every week they get some gutter snipe that wants to be blindfolded and fucked by a complete stranger. Lucky for guys like you, when people are blindfolded they are unable to see. That’s where you, the average Joe, come in. They just go around L.A. and pick random shitbirds to fuck these poor tramps. Ahhh…money, money, money, money. As they say, it’ll do funny things to ya. These destitute broads are living proof.

But they are also, for the most part, pretty sexy. I have said it before, and I will most certainly say it again — there are a lot of very attractive gals out there, and many of them are very stupid, poor or just plain slutty. As long as that remains the case, you and I will have and endless supply of porn. God bless drug addictions.

Anywho — most of the dudes are at least somewhat fit and attractive. Our favorite scene included Delilah, a sexy brunette that had about as many tattoos as Henry Rollins. That being said, she had a very nice body and a pretty face. Handful sized tits, just like we like ‘em. Her counterpart went by the moniker Scooby. The best part of this whole scene was that Scooby wore a Nacho Libre mask. I kept expecting him to jump on her from the turnbuckle. Alas, he did not, but he did lay some pipe on her. They claim that he had not been laid in over a year — I have my suspicions as to the validity of that statement. He lasted longer than a Francis Ford Coppola movie.

Less than a 5 spot will get you 3 days, and a full bore, monthly membership will only set you back $29.97. And, when you join this little slice of heaven, you also get access to ALL of the O.C. Cash network — which is 33 sites in all. All very well done and all have great talent in them, if you know what I mean.

A very unique site — we have seen others sort of like it but this one may be the best at what it does. When you throw in all of the other sites, we give it a high mark.

… 9 out of 10

Visit the site: www.aluckystranger.com

If you think that you have seen everything there is to see in internet porn, and you have yet to see VideoBox, then you are sadly mistaken. This is the future of internet porn, and maybe even mainstream movies. This is how it will be done everywhere once this thing catches on, mark our words on it!

Video Box is a massive cache of adult movies/DVDs that are downloadable by you, the member, either by the entire DVD or conveniently by scenes (which we will get into in a moment). That is nothing new in and of it’s self, but here is the kicker. The price is as low as $6.66 per month. That is it. Nothing further. No additional charges for anything…at all…ever. No commitment, no hidden fees. Their motto: Find it. Download it. Own it.

Ok, now you are warming up…but what kind of movies? How many? Good questions…but they have great answers for that too! Trust us, we tried every angle to foil this one. Surely there is something that isn’t Kosher about this, right? Wrong! They have nearly EIGHT HUNDRED movies at the time of this writing and here is the REAL kicker…they add five movies every day. Five entire movies. They even give you a count down to when the next movie will be added. You are never more than hours away from a new movie being added. And you can download as many of them as you would like every day. If you get really horny and want to download 50 movies in a day, and you can somehow find a time, have at it!

The format is very easy to use and very easy to search. The videos are broken down into scenes and you can see thumbnails from each scene to help decide whether you want just one or tow scenes or the entire movie. We all have gotten that DVD with a shitload of boring, useless stuff caked in between the good shit. Not any more. Even better, they have a very handy click-and-drag function that you can use to download only sections of a movie. They have several thumbnails already set out for you. IF you only want, say the middle of the movie…you merely drag the thumbnail of the first scene that you want into place and then drag the thumbnail of the last scene that you want into place and voila! You are given the sections in between! It is very handy and very functional. With nearly 4,500 scenes to watch, a number that is growing every few hours, you will need this!

Of course it wouldn’t be all that easy if they did not have them categorized for you…which they do. They break them down into about 40 categories…from Amateur to Transsexual. Then, for even more convenient surfing, they also give you the option of choosing by series, studio or by your favorite porn stars. Finally, you can look at the entire DVD, scenes, or you can even make you own favorites list. If you can’t decide on your favorites, do not worry…they have some favorites of their own to help you out.

Video Box does not just throw any old movie up there in order to have their database grow to huge amounts. That would be easy, but sloppy. Instead, they only put certain DVDs from certain studios up, in order to keep the quality high. This is not limiting as you may think, however, as they have several studios including, but not limited to, Lethal Hardcore, Black Mirror, LimeLight, Original Sin, Acid Rain, Elegant Angel, Gentlemens, Legend, Puritan, Red Light District, Wildlife and Zero Tolerance. Those are just the studios…there are hundreds of titles within them!

Every single movie that we downloaded, and that was a lot of them, was very high quality, very good talent and very easy to do. They “scene selector” as we like to call it made it all that much easier, and it was fun as well. It made it a little more interactive and exciting to be able to make your own cuts in each movie, as a director would. Hell, we are even thinking of getting our own little director’s chair now!

Bottom line: You are reading about the future right now. We can almost guarantee that this is how all things movie will be done down the road. With most sites costing around $30.00 or more per month, and those have a lot less content than this one does, it is impossible to think how anyone with a swinging dick (or even a wet snapper for that matter) could not be a part of it. … 10 out of 10

Visit the site: www.videobox.com

I heard she jams shit in her peehole

The site: AmazingTy.com

The price:$24.95

The verdict: What more can I say? Some incredible shit for less than $25 per month. If you don’t check her out, it’s your loss. But you can be the first on your block to say that you’ve seen a woman jam a cucumber into her piss hole — and to me that’s priceless. 9.5 out of 10.

To join, click here:www.AmazingTy.com

Amazing is an understatement, Ty. You should call yourself the fucking phenomenal Ty, because that’s the way I’d describe anyone who can shove a 12 inch dildo into her pee-hole. Now, don’t just gloss over that last sentence. I did not say her vagina or pussy — I said her pee-hole — as in her urethra. That’s correct — she can shove a dildo into her usually tiny little piss-hole. Jesus Christ.

I have been reviewing internet porn for a long time, and I have looked at thousands of adult sites — but this beats anything that I have ever seen. I did not know this was even possible. I see lots of things that I did not think people would necessarily do, but this is one of the first times that I have been completely in awe that someone could even physically perform a task such as this. Ty, you take the cake, my dear.

Now, I realize that I am hung up on the pee-hole insertion — as you will be when you see it. But Ty is oh so much more than a piss hole junkie. In case you haven’t guessed, this is an extreme fetish site. Lots of very large insertions. Of course there’s fisting. It wouldn’t be a fetish site without the lactating tits. Triple fisting is the norm. And did I mention the pee-hole insertions?

Ty herself is a blonde with big, floppy tits and, of course, a gaping giney. She is not a “doll” — meaning she’s real and not caked with makeup. She’ll do anything, which is the draw of the site. I really liked the “schedule” that she has on her site. Monster Mondays are for huge object/dildo insertions. Pee-hole Tuesdays — self-explanatory. Weird Wednesdays are for wacky insertions and sexual stunts. Anal Thursdays — you figure it out. Fisting Fridays — up to three fists at a time. The weekends feature guests like Denni O, Naughty Alysha (our review here) and Samantha — all of whom have equally gigantic pussy holes, and are eager to fill them with shit you’ve never dreamed of.

You also get DAILY updates of videos and pictures. At least five minutes of new video every day — which totals over 2 new hours per month. Of course you get her archives from all the months you’ve been missing by not joining until now. All of it for $24.95 per month. If I were in Mexico and saw a sign that said “Pee-hole Insertion Show” and it cost $50 — I’d fucking gladly pay the fee. Again and again. So to me– this is a bargain. If you don’t think so, then you need to get Net Nanny installed on your computer and check out the Disney site.

What more can I say? Some incredible shit for less than $25 per month. If you don’t check her out, it’s your loss. But you can be the first on your block to say that you’ve seen a woman jam a cucumber into her piss hole — and to me that’s priceless.

Visit the site: www.AmazingTy.com