Handjobs

Absolute Handjobs Website Review

by The Devil (admin)

It's pretty God damned hard to give someone a handjob when you don't have any hands!

The site: absolutehandjobs.com

The price:$0.97 trial, $34.95 per month

The verdict: Very nice HJ site. Props. 8.5 out of 10.

Rating: ★★★★★★★★½☆ (8.5/10)

To join, click here:www.absolutehandjobs.com

Sometimes I prefer a handy wiggle to a fuckin’. Basically, it’s a degradation thing. I make that bitch satisfy my cock and what does she get in return? A load of my sperm right in her fucking eye — and that’s it. Go make your own self cum, slut. I’m tired now.

Although this is a pro site, the chicks are the next-door type. No supermodels here. Only sizzly local type chicks wanking dudes off in a P.O.V. format. I really, really dug the site a lot more than I thought I would.

If you like dirty, rocker chicks with tattoos and black streaks in blonde hair (and let’s face it — who doesn’t?), go check out Tricia. She’s fucking loaded. Sexy, dirty face, stacked titties, and dirty as FUCK. She is exactly the kind of chick that makes my nut contents boil.

And you get tons of shit when you join this baby ($1.00 3 day trial, $35 per month thereafter). Tons of sites, mobile apps, live chicks on cams, videos, pics — fucking more shit than you would ever know what to do with. If you jerked off to every video and format that they have, it would take you years, and when you were done your cock would look like a blood sausage that had been run over by a steam roller.

Very nice HJ site. Props.

8.5 out of 10

Visit AbsoluteHandjobs.com

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Wanted List Website Review

by The Caveman (admin)

Take your pick, beat your dick.

The site: wantedlist.com

The price:Varies – You’ll find a good deal

The verdict: Perfect. I can’t think of any way to improve it.
Rating: ★★★★★★★★★★ (10/10)
To join, click here: www.wantedlist.com

No time for jokes today, fellas. This site is a fucking gem and no laughing matter. The only joke here is in your hand.Wanted List is the name, and it’s worth remembering (and even bookmarking). Wanted List is basically a Netflix for porn, with over 4,000 titles available on DVD rental AND video on demand. They also have some exclusive content from studios like Red Light District and Evil Angel that are not available on any other VOD site. Now you see why my ass ain’t cracking fun? Of course you do.

Come to think of it, I discovered an entire new series of amateur videos that I never knew about (the Real Sex Magazine series) on Wanted List that are fast becoming one of my favorites. This series reminds me a LOT of Dirty Debutantes, the Ed Powers classic, but with big dicked men instead of Ed’s little wiggler. If you get a chance, any Amateur lover needs to check it out.

The charges on Wanted List  work a lot like Netlifx as well. You can choose a DVD rental package (starting at $17.95 per month for 2 DVDs at a time all the way up to $42.99 for 8 at a time) or a VOD package (less than $25 per month for unlimited VOD viewing) — or a combo of both. Fuck yes!

Finally, Wanted List has the PornTron 6900. Yeah, it’s silly — but at least it’s something different. You pick from a few select categories and it generates a list of movies it thinks you’d like. This is for those of you that are too lazy to even pick your own fucking porn. Jesus…look what this world has come to…

And if you think I’m full of shit and/or biased because I got to peek for free, then a) fuck you jealous pricks and b) Wanted List won the AVN award for Best Rental site for the LAST THREE YEARS! Take that doubters! Those fuckers are NEVER wrong!

Perfect. I can’t think of any way to improve Wanted List.

Visit the site: www.wantedlist.com

10 out of 10

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Vip XXX Area Website Review

by The Caveman (admin)

Her tatto functions exactly like a nipple.

Her tatto functions exactly like a nipple.

The site: vipxxxarea.com

The price: $1.00 trial

The verdict: A very good portal site to get to a great network of fetish sites. We are members.

Rating: ★★★★★★★★½☆ (8.5/10)
To join, click here:www.vipxxxarea.com

VIP XXX Area is a portal site to a group of very nice sites, many of which specialize in the fetishes that we all have in some form or another. It is not really a content site in and of itself, but when you join you get LOTS of all-original content.

The list of sites is large and continues to grow on a regular basis. At the time of this review, the sites included are: Her First DV, Sinful Teachers, Teens in Glasses, Public Peek, Bad Office Girls, Femdom Abuse, Pantyhose and Panties, Teens in Satin, Teens in Slips, Easy Drunk Girls, MILF Whore, Cummy Feet, Tranny Destruction, Daily Movies and Daily Jokes.

The membership fee to join is $1.00 for a trial or $34.95 for a month. Obviously we do not need to tell you that a site that gives you access to over a dozen all-original, very high quality, amateur-type fetish sites for less than $35 per month is a great deal. And if you want to check out some of the sites first, go to our reviews of these sites. We have some freebies for you to get you started. We honestly think that these sites and extremely well done overall.

One of the sites offered, Easy Drunk Girls, was one of our new favorites. You can read our review, but basically they go to clubs and talk these excessively drunk chicks into fucking out in the limo — but NOT fucking the guys that are making the site or running the site. Instead, they get a guy from the bar who is equally drunk, but sometimes not equally as attractive, and that guy gets to fuck this wretched slut. The girls are generally cute and the sex and everything about it is really entertaining.

That is but one of the sites you get full access to for the one fee. We think that as a network it is one of the top ones based upon the fact that the girls are great and the sites have ONLY original content. They are very adamant that you will not see their shit anywhere else and so far we have not.

A very good portal site to get to a great network of fetish sites. We are members!

Visit the site: www.vipxxxarea.com

8.5 out of 10

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Video Box Website Review

by The Caveman (admin)

video box
The site: videobox.com (best value)
The price:Varies – as low as $9.95 per month
The verdict: Bottom line: You are reading about the future right now. We can almost guarantee that this is how all things movie will be done down the road. With most sites costing around $30.00 or more per month, and those have a lot less content than this one does, it is impossible to think how anyone with a swinging dick (or even a wet snapper for that matter) could not be a part of it.
Rating: ★★★★★★★★★★ (10/10)
To join, click here: www.videobox.com
Let’s just get this out of the way right off the bat…THIS SITE IS A PERFECT 10!! Read on…

If you think that you have seen everything there is to see in internet porn, and you have yet to see VideoBox, then you are sadly mistaken. This is the future of internet porn, and maybe even mainstream movies. This is how it will be done everywhere once this thing catches on, mark our words on it!

VideoBox is a massive cache of adult movies/DVDs that are downloadable by you, the member, either by the entire DVD or conveniently by scenes (which we will get into in a moment). That is nothing new in and of it’s self, but here is the kicker. The price is as low as $6.66 per month. That is it. Nothing further. No additional charges for anything…at all…ever. No commitment, no hidden fees. Their motto: Find it. Download it. Own it.

Ok, now you are warming up…but what kind of movies? How many? Good questions…but they have great answers for that too! Trust us, we tried every angle to foil this one. Surely there is something that isn’t Kosher about this, right? Wrong! They have nearly EIGHT HUNDRED movies at the time of this writing and here is the REAL kicker…they add five movies every day. Five entire movies. They even give you a count down to when the next movie will be added. You are never more than hours away from a new movie being added. And you can download as many of them as you would like every day. If you get really horny and want to download 50 movies in a day, and you can somehow find a time, have at it!

The format is very easy to use and very easy to search. The videos are broken down into scenes and you can see thumbnails from each scene to help decide whether you want just one or tow scenes or the entire movie. We all have gotten that DVD with a shitload of boring, useless stuff caked in between the good shit. Not any more. Even better, they have a very handy click-and-drag function that you can use to download only sections of a movie. They have several thumbnails already set out for you. IF you only want, say the middle of the movie…you merely drag the thumbnail of the first scene that you want into place and then drag the thumbnail of the last scene that you want into place and voila! You are given the sections in between! It is very handy and very functional. With nearly 4,500 scenes to watch, a number that is growing every few hours, you will need this!

Of course it wouldn’t be all that easy if they did not have them categorized for you…which they do. They break them down into about 40 categories…from Amateur to Transsexual. Then, for even more convenient surfing, they also give you the option of choosing by series, studio or by your favorite porn stars. Finally, you can look at the entire DVD, scenes, or you can even make you own favorites list. If you can’t decide on your favorites, do not worry…they have some favorites of their own to help you out.

VideoBox does not just throw any old movie up there in order to have their database grow to huge amounts. That would be easy, but sloppy. Instead, they only put certain DVDs from certain studios up, in order to keep the quality high. This is not limiting as you may think, however, as they have several studios including, but not limited to, Lethal Hardcore, Black Mirror, LimeLight, Original Sin, Acid Rain, Elegant Angel, Gentlemens, Legend, Puritan, Red Light District, Wildlife and Zero Tolerance. Those are just the studios…there are hundreds of titles within them!

Every single movie that we downloaded, and that was a lot of them, was very high quality, very good talent and very easy to do. They “scene selector” as we like to call it made it all that much easier, and it was fun as well. It made it a little more interactive and exciting to be able to make your own cuts in each movie, as a director would. Hell, we are even thinking of getting our own little director’s chair now!

Bottom line: You are reading about the future right now. We can almost guarantee that this is how all things movie will be done down the road. With most sites costing around $30.00 or more per month, and those have a lot less content than this one does, it is impossible to think how anyone with a swinging dick (or even a wet snapper for that matter) could not be a part of it. … 10 out of 10

Visit the site: www.videobox.com

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Tug Jobs Website Review

by The Caveman (admin)

Then give it to me, Bitch!

The site: tugjobs.com

The price:$4.95 trial $23.95 month

The verdict: Joining Tugjobs will also get you access to several other sites by the BangBros. One of the sites is updated every day, so there is always new material to spank to. 8.5 out of 10

Rating: ★★★★★★★★½☆ (8.5/10)

To join, click here: www.tugjobs.com

As its name suggest, Tugjobs is a handjob site where the girls jerk guys off rather than fuck them. Shot from a first person point of view, Tugjobs tries to put you in the room with the model who is jerking “you” off. Unfortunately, the “you” on the screen generally has a cock bigger than the average “you”…but we can all pretend, right?

The archives will keep you busy for a while, going back to over 2 years worth of slick-handed action. While there are many different types of girls–big tits, small tits, 2 girls at once–almost all appear to be white, with very few exceptions. So if you are into black, latino or asian chicks, look elsewhere (like ballhoneys.com). That being said, the quality of the action is prime. These are not just your run-of-the-mill jerk jobs. These girls smack, slap, ass rub, titty fuck, double fist and occasionally stick a finger up the ass of the lucky tugee. Be sure to watch Nickie’s performance. The makers of the site tout it as the best handjob ever, as she uses every inch of her body on Gino’s cock!

If you have never gotten into a handjob site, it is definitely worth a look. Many first timers are skeptical, thinking, “Why would I want to watch a girl give a handjob when I could watch basically the same girl get fucked?” Good point…but there is something very alluring about a hot chick giving a wet and sloppy handjob…almost a “look but can’t touch” sort of feel. If I was a skeptic before, I am definitely a beliver now.

Joining Tugjobs will also get you access to several other sites by the BangBros. One of the sites is updated every day, so there is always new material to spank to.

Visit the site: www.tugjobs.com

8.5 out of 10

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American Vice Website Review

by The Devil (admin)

Don't let the photo fool you - there are tons of pregnant movies on this site

The site: americanvice.com

The price:$9.95/month

The verdict: Excellent megasite for DVDs. Get as many as you want and keep them forever. Yeah, baby! Keep the man down by joining this motherfucker and jerking off religiously 8-10 times a day. 9 out of 10

Rating: ★★★★★★★★★☆ (9/10)

To join, click here:www.americanvice.com

This site is EXACTLY like Miami Vice, except with lots of graphic fucking, downloadable porn, billions of cumshots, and not one single dickhead named Crockett or Tubbs. Oh – and no cops either. So really the only thing that is like Miami Vice is the word vice in the title. But trust me – this shit is MUCH better than some piece of shit in a pink shirt and dock shoes.

But why sit here and blow smoke into your cockhole when I can back my shit up with hard fucking facts. 1,575 downloadable (and burnable) DVDs. 9,470 scenes. 5 new DVDs every 3 days, guaranteed. Unlimited downloads. Incredible search capabilities. Front & back of each DVD cover. As low as $10 per month.

You like that shit? Yeah…I thought you would. You’ll also like the fact that most of their videos are professional ones, meaning you won’t see some fat fuck try to diddle his old lady on the beige sofa in front of the wood paneling on the walls of their rented single wide. Nope, this site is for big boys – true professional porn with top of the line actresses. You name the starlet, she’s somewhere on this site sucking the skin off of a 9 incher.

The great thing about sites like this, besides all of the shit I already listed,  is the ability to download one scene from a movie, instead of having to watch an entire movie, only part of which makes your nuts tingle. It’s just like music these days, and how you can download one song from an otherwise shitty CD. Back in the day, it was inevitable that I would get my balls all slicked up, grab my money maker and settle in for a dong-wrestle, only to have to fast forward through 32 minutes of atrocious acting and drab fucking, just to get to the scene that made me have a hard cum. Not anymore – just get the scenes you like.

Excellent megasite for DVDs. Get as many as you want and keep them forever. Yeah, baby! Keep the man down by joining this motherfucker and jerking off religiously 8-10 times a day.

Visit the site: www.americanvice.com

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Top Notch Bitches Website Review

by The Caveman (admin)

Grrrr!

Grrrr!

The site: topnotchbitches.com

The price: $29.95 month

The verdict: We cannot stress the greatness of this site enough. THE HOTTEST GIRLS EVER, and made by the hottest girl of all of the hot girls (does that even make sense?). One of a kind site!  10 out of 10.

Rating: ★★★★★★★★★★ (10/10)

To join, click here:www.topnotchbitches.com

How do you represent hyperventilation in print? We wish we knew, because that is exactly what we started doing when we got to this site. Best chicks we have ever seen!

With a name like that you have some big shoes to fill! It is awfully ballsy to call your site Top Notch Bitches, simply because you open yourself up for some major criticism…that is unless you hire Gina Lynn– THE Top Notch Bitch — to oversee the site and either star in or shoot every single video herself. That is what these guys did. And they pulled it off!

Did they ever. There are some of the finest girls that we have ever seen getting fucked on this site. Some of them we have seen elsewhere(the girls, not the videos) and some are new to us. We loved every last one of them. Especially Lanny Barbie, who you have heard us talk about before. This was her finest movie that we have seen to date. And we also saw Penny Flame (a favorite of ours) and Belladonna too! This place has it all.

This site has one of the most famous videos of all on it, at least as far as mainstream media goes. Ever hear of Courtney Simpson? You probably have and just don’t realize it. She is the smoking hot co-ed college basketball cheerleader from a certain Arizona university (whose mascot is also a type of devil, much like ours) that started a bunch of controversy by getting into the porn business after college and wearing her actual cheerleading uniform while getting fucked by two guys in a porn video. Now you remember her, right? Well…THIS is the video! Yep! Due to lawsuits and shit like that they have altered the front of the uniform, but this is the actual video that started all of the controversy! And it is a fucking steamer too! Courtney Simpson is drop dead gorgeous.

If all of these hot bitches are not enough, take this — they are also a member of the Meat Members network, which means you membership fee of$29.95 gets you access to about 40 other sites too, all of which have fucking scorchers and all of which have the best quality of video around. That is over a MILLION MEGABYTES of material…ALL ORIGINAL and ALL HOT! We love the network…and this was our favorite site on the entire network.

We cannot stress the greatness of this site enough. THE HOTTEST GIRLS EVER, and made by the hottest girl of all of the hot girls (does that even make sense?). One of a kind site!

Visit the site: www.topnotchbitches.com

10 out of 10


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Brain Pass Website Review

by The Devil (admin)

PLD3
The site: brainpass.com
The price:$29.95 month
The verdict: Nary a bad word to say about this collection. Unbelievable sites, talent, content and volume. Also an unbelievable price. Most unbelievable of all is the fact that you are still reading this and have not yet joined. 10 out of 10.

Rating: ★★★★★★★★★★ (10/10)

To join, click here: www.brainpass.com

One of the best and most extensive pay sites on the net, Brainpass.com is a collection of over 2 dozen sites, all of which are extremely well put together and have unstoppable talent (both male and female). You may have read our other reviews about Brain Cash…well, this is their main site. You can join through one of the sites listed with the Brain Cash group, or simply go to brainpass.com and join there. You will not be disappointed (unless you like shitty videos with ugly chicks and guys with small dicks fucking horses).

For a reasonable rate of $29.95 per month, you get access to some pretty damn good sites. Ever heard of Peter North? You will get his official site with all of the award winning cum shots. Lexington Steele? Yep, he’s here with his terrifying dong. Not only do they have some of the biggest names in the business, there are also several single-girl sites with super hot chicks that fuck on film…a lot! Shelby Bell is one of these girls and she is a fucking knockout. If you do not think she is the hottest thing on video, well then maybe you should join and head to boyscasting.com!

Also, there are several sites dedicated to niches, such as realsquirt.com (you can figure that one out, can’t you?), feetfrenzy.com (again, a no brainer), and fuckthatasian.com, and onlydp.com (some of the best double penetration scenes featuring the likes of Peter North, Lex Steele and Lauren Phoenix). We could go on, but it is much easier for you to just go to Brain Pass and see for yourself!

In addition to their featured sites, they promise over 200 bonus sites with the price of your pass. They also give you weekly live shows on web cam, as well as one-on-one session with some of their models. Again…this is all for only $29.95 per month. We have found many network sites that we really like, but none so far are on the level of this one.

Nary a bad word to say about this collection. Unbelievable sites, talent, content and volume. Also an unbelievable price. Most unbelievable of all is the fact that you are still reading this and have not yet joined.

10 out of 10

Visit the site: www.brainpass.com

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Pornstarxs Website Review

by The Caveman (admin)

pornstarxs
The site: pornstarxs.com
The price:$24.95 a month, $59.40 for 6 monthsThe verdict: Nothing but unbelievably good things to say about this site. They are a five tool player, firing on all cylinders. One of the very best new sites on the internet 9 out of 10.

Rating: ★★★★★★★★★☆ (9/10)

To join, click here:www.pornstarxs.com

Remember when you used to have to go into the movie store and rent porn. You were the creepy guy in the flannel shirt that kicked at the dirt and hemmed and hawed around near the back of the store until you were the only person in the store, then you darted into the “adults only” room. Of course, getting into the room was only the first hurdle. Then you had to pick what movie your cock would like without a) seeing any scenes and b) pulling your cock out to show it the box (note: this was true for most of us — some of your ultra-creeps actaully showed the box to your dick). And that was if you had a decent movie store. Believe it or not, we had one in our neighborhood that you had to rent from a printed list of titles in a 3 ring binder. Try choosing between Big Tittied Sorority Sluts and Large Breasted Nurse Whores on title alone (you went with the sorority girls? Me too…)

Porn Star XS is among the newest wave of full DVD “rental” shops — where you can “check out” (read: OWN) full length DVDs in the privacy of your own home (go ahead, whip little Johnny out and give him a gander) — and you never, ever have to return them. You can search by scene, title, actress — doesn’t matter. Check out some scenes to be sure you’ll like it. Hop from a scene in one movie to a scene in another. Hell, splice them together and make your own “greatest hits” porn — a cornucopia for your cock. You can do it a million ways. Fuckin’ A — I think this internet thing may catch on yet!

These guys are all about full length DVDs — but those are broken down into scenes for convenience. They also have them categorized, they have featured movies as well as the “editor’s choice” section — 3 scenes picked by the staff, updated daily (on the day of this review they had a scene featuring Lauren Phoenix — an all-time fav of PLD — good work guys). They are VERY customer friendly and keep on top of what their customers are demanding, which is a HUGE plus in our book. They are constantly changing to meet the needs of their customers. We love sites that don’t just throw a bunch of shit up and run away. These guys seem to really care what goes on and what WE want. Good work, fellers.

One of the features on Porn Star XS that is seldom found (at least not often enough), but much appreciated, is the ability to bookmark well, just about anything. Found the hottest chick you’ve ever seen and don’t want to have to search for her every night at horny-o’clock? Bookmark her. Found that scene that makes your balls tingle at the thought of it? Bookmark it. Got and entire DVD that you jerk off to (you fucking stud you)? Bookmark that motherscratcher.

Porn Star XS has the biggest names in the biz, the best DVDs, the greatest scenes — think of it as a $100 brunch buffet at the fanciest restaurant that you’ve ever been to — but you’re not wearing pants, the brisket is fucking sexy as shit (and appears to be eating the Oyster’s Rockefeller’s pussy), and the cost is only $24.95 per month — or a 6 month membership for $59.40. Do the math, peeps — that is LESS THAN TEN DOLLARS PER MONTH! In our opinion, this may honestly be the very best DVD deal on the internet.

Nothing but unbelievably good things to say about this site. They are a five tool player, firing on all cylinders. One of the very best new sites on the internet.

Visit the site: www.pornstarxs.com

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Playful Hands Website Review

by The Caveman (admin)

Oven mits would be playful

Oven mits would be playful

The site: playfulhands.com

The price:$1.95 Trial, $29.95 first month

The verdict: Meh…although the chicks are on par with the tops in the biz, barbie types rolling around and playing with themselves is not nearly enough to make me go berserk. Maybe for a less jaded porn viewer, or a newcomer to the porn scene – but not this grizzled vet. 6 out of 10.

Rating: ★★★★★★☆☆☆☆ (6/10)

To join, click here:www.playfulhands.com

They say that idle hands are the Devil’s playground. That’s simply not true. Idle hands are boring as fuck – why would I want to fuck around with a couple of lazy fucking hands? My favorite playground is in the lap of a mid-twenties blonde with natural tits, or the frothing asshole of a 39 year-old cock cougar.

And this site wouldn’t be a bad place to play around for a day or two. Playful Hands is basically a super high class solo ladies site. Almost like those Playboy videos where they roll around on the bear skin rug – but here, they jam their fingers in their cunts to the 3rd knuckle. And sometimes, when the mood is just right, they slip a pinky in the out-hole.

First things first – there’s no shortage of 10s here at this site. It is pretty stunning when you look at all of the pics and videos and see all of the super hotties that they have gathered here. The videos are all in HD, which makes these honeys that much hotter.

You are not going to find any hardcore fucking, or any hardcore anything for that matter. Unless you consider dildos and fingers inside the owner of a lonely snatch hardcore. But if you do, you need a tutorial into the world of REAL hardcore porn.

The good news, besides the fact that these bitches are as hot as you’ll ever see, is that there are over 40 additional sites included in your paid membership. That means you can get your ball juices flowing a bit to this one, then move on to ass fucking, footjobs, double penetration, or some other good shit like that.

Meh…although the chicks are on par with the tops in the biz, barbie types rolling around and playing with themselves is not nearly enough to make me go berserk. Maybe for a less jaded porn viewer, or a newcomer to the porn scene – but not this grizzled vet.

Visit the site: www.playfulhands.com

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