"But...that's not possible!"

The site: impossiblecocks.com

The price:$0.97 trial, $34.95 per month

The verdict: I love it for the chicks. These chicks-next-door make it well worth the cabbage. 8 out of 10.

If you think that you have seen everything there is to see in internet porn, and you have yet to see VideoBox, then you are sadly mistaken. This is the future of internet porn, and maybe even mainstream movies. This is how it will be done everywhere once this thing catches on, mark our words on it!

Video Box is a massive cache of adult movies/DVDs that are downloadable by you, the member, either by the entire DVD or conveniently by scenes (which we will get into in a moment). That is nothing new in and of it’s self, but here is the kicker. The price is as low as $6.66 per month. That is it. Nothing further. No additional charges for anything…at all…ever. No commitment, no hidden fees. Their motto: Find it. Download it. Own it.

Ok, now you are warming up…but what kind of movies? How many? Good questions…but they have great answers for that too! Trust us, we tried every angle to foil this one. Surely there is something that isn’t Kosher about this, right? Wrong! They have nearly EIGHT HUNDRED movies at the time of this writing and here is the REAL kicker…they add five movies every day. Five entire movies. They even give you a count down to when the next movie will be added. You are never more than hours away from a new movie being added. And you can download as many of them as you would like every day. If you get really horny and want to download 50 movies in a day, and you can somehow find a time, have at it!

The format is very easy to use and very easy to search. The videos are broken down into scenes and you can see thumbnails from each scene to help decide whether you want just one or tow scenes or the entire movie. We all have gotten that DVD with a shitload of boring, useless stuff caked in between the good shit. Not any more. Even better, they have a very handy click-and-drag function that you can use to download only sections of a movie. They have several thumbnails already set out for you. IF you only want, say the middle of the movie…you merely drag the thumbnail of the first scene that you want into place and then drag the thumbnail of the last scene that you want into place and voila! You are given the sections in between! It is very handy and very functional. With nearly 4,500 scenes to watch, a number that is growing every few hours, you will need this!

Of course it wouldn’t be all that easy if they did not have them categorized for you…which they do. They break them down into about 40 categories…from Amateur to Transsexual. Then, for even more convenient surfing, they also give you the option of choosing by series, studio or by your favorite porn stars. Finally, you can look at the entire DVD, scenes, or you can even make you own favorites list. If you can’t decide on your favorites, do not worry…they have some favorites of their own to help you out.

Video Box does not just throw any old movie up there in order to have their database grow to huge amounts. That would be easy, but sloppy. Instead, they only put certain DVDs from certain studios up, in order to keep the quality high. This is not limiting as you may think, however, as they have several studios including, but not limited to, Lethal Hardcore, Black Mirror, LimeLight, Original Sin, Acid Rain, Elegant Angel, Gentlemens, Legend, Puritan, Red Light District, Wildlife and Zero Tolerance. Those are just the studios…there are hundreds of titles within them!

Every single movie that we downloaded, and that was a lot of them, was very high quality, very good talent and very easy to do. They “scene selector” as we like to call it made it all that much easier, and it was fun as well. It made it a little more interactive and exciting to be able to make your own cuts in each movie, as a director would. Hell, we are even thinking of getting our own little director’s chair now!

Bottom line: You are reading about the future right now. We can almost guarantee that this is how all things movie will be done down the road. With most sites costing around $30.00 or more per month, and those have a lot less content than this one does, it is impossible to think how anyone with a swinging dick (or even a wet snapper for that matter) could not be a part of it. … 10 out of 10

Visit the site: www.videobox.com

Don't let the photo fool you - there are tons of pregnant movies on this site

The site: americanvice.com

The price:$9.95/month

The verdict: Excellent megasite for DVDs. Get as many as you want and keep them forever. Yeah, baby! Keep the man down by joining this motherfucker and jerking off religiously 8-10 times a day. 9 out of 10

This site is EXACTLY like Miami Vice, except with lots of graphic fucking, downloadable porn, billions of cumshots, and not one single dickhead named Crockett or Tubbs. Oh – and no cops either. So really the only thing that is like Miami Vice is the word vice in the title. But trust me – this shit is MUCH better than some piece of shit in a pink shirt and dock shoes.

But why sit here and blow smoke into your cockhole when I can back my shit up with hard fucking facts. 1,575 downloadable (and burnable) DVDs. 9,470 scenes. 5 new DVDs every 3 days, guaranteed. Unlimited downloads. Incredible search capabilities. Front & back of each DVD cover. As low as $10 per month.

You like that shit? Yeah…I thought you would. You’ll also like the fact that most of their videos are professional ones, meaning you won’t see some fat fuck try to diddle his old lady on the beige sofa in front of the wood paneling on the walls of their rented single wide. Nope, this site is for big boys – true professional porn with top of the line actresses. You name the starlet, she’s somewhere on this site sucking the skin off of a 9 incher.

The great thing about sites like this, besides all of the shit I already listed,  is the ability to download one scene from a movie, instead of having to watch an entire movie, only part of which makes your nuts tingle. It’s just like music these days, and how you can download one song from an otherwise shitty CD. Back in the day, it was inevitable that I would get my balls all slicked up, grab my money maker and settle in for a dong-wrestle, only to have to fast forward through 32 minutes of atrocious acting and drab fucking, just to get to the scene that made me have a hard cum. Not anymore – just get the scenes you like.

Excellent megasite for DVDs. Get as many as you want and keep them forever. Yeah, baby! Keep the man down by joining this motherfucker and jerking off religiously 8-10 times a day.

Visit the site: www.americanvice.com

To Cockzilla white girls are the turkey and he’s the stuffing.”This, on the front page of the site The Cockzilla, is now my favorite ad line from any porn site that I have ever been on. All things being equal, these guys get points for ridiculousness, if nothing else. Fortunately, they do have other redeeming qualities on the site, namely the fact that they land super hot white chicks, then slaughter their already gaping snatch holes with a dick so big that this dude could take a shit and then stir it. One little side note — I like the call him THE Cockzilla, as if there are dozens of Cockzillas running rampant. There aren’t…are there? Oh shit…now I’m scared…

Whether there are or not, this one’s appropriately named to be sure. A big, sometimes dred-locked black man with about a yard-o-dick. His specialty? Taking on tiny, little white girls and their tight-to-him snatches. If you like pain fucking and interracial sex, this one will please you. If you like soft, sensual love making with candles, incense and “holding” afterwards…then get the fuck off of my website, you fucking creep.

And if you think that WE are just a vehicle to get your jerk on, you think again mister. If you join through PLD at the link above, you can get a three day trial for ONE DOLLAR! Any other way and it’ll cost you a lot more. That’s 72 hours of spunk shooting virtually on us. Ummm…not shooting your spunk on us, I meant “on us”, as in free. You’re welcome.

Pretty simple — a fantastically hung black man fucking white girls. What you see is what you get. … 7 out of 10

The site: bigcockbangers.com

Ahhh, the giant cock. The staple of the porn industry since its inception. The only guarantee that you get every time you watch a porn is that if it is a straight sex porno, you will see a big dick. Big Cock Bangers goes that extra inch or two to make sure that the cocks you see here are more than just “big.” The terms used on this site are “huge” and “massive.”

As would any of you, we first checked out their movie section. They did not have set movies as most sites do. Instead, they had a link to another site with streaming videos of big dongs blasting little snatches. It looked as if there were a little over 100 clips to view. Not an enormous amount, but enough to keep you busy for quite a while. There was also a link to another massive cock page, but at the time we checked out this site that link was down. Better luck next time!

Once clip to tease you with is clip #15. A gorgeous black sister takes on a colossal kidney poker. This is a very, very impressive (and at the same time demeaning) cock. We wish that there was a way that we could find out who this honey is, because she really made a great scene here. Although the laws of physics prevented her from sucking more than half of this cock at once, she gives a great BJ. The one bitch that we do have about the videos is that there is no way to control them (pause, rewind, etc.) You simply have to ride them out and watch them all over again. This is not good.

The image gallery was a whole different story altogether. While there were many good images to be found in the first (featured) gallery, the shit got a little insane after that. If you ever want to see what a photo-shopped cock looks like, go to the platinum area. There are ridiculously altered images in there. We could not tell if they were attempting to fool us, but if they were then they underestimate the human race. There are good for some laughs, though!

At $39.99 per month, the membership fee is a little steep in our opinion. We tried the three-day route, which only cost us $2.95. That gives you access to everything that the monthers get!

The extras are worth a look, with E-zines full of helpful sex tips and how-to guides. They also have games (which are fun…but only for a short spell), a sex store (no…you can’t buy sex here, but you can get a fake pussy or cock…which is almost as good), erotic stories and a personals link (Adultfriendfinder…the best there is).

Not the best we have seen, but the videos that we perused were decent. Big cocks are always a cinch to entertain, and they give you a good cache of them. With the extras, it is worth at least a three day pass.

We can’t vouche for the biggness of said cocks or the bangersNot the best we have seen, but the videos that we perused were decent. Big cocks are always a cinch to entertain, and they give you a good cache of them. With the extras, it is worth at least a three day pass. involved. We’ll let you know when the review is up. …

6 out of 10

Visit the site: www.bigcockbangers.com

You wearin' a wire, cunt?

The site: bigcocksporn.com

The price:$1.95 trial/ $39.95 month

The verdict: Decent fuck site. It is not all that hard to collect a bunch of “big cock” porno movies, and it is not really a fetish, but it is good fucking and a shit load of movies and pics, so we liked it. 8 out of 10.

Let’s play a little game — gay or straight? If you had to type this site name in and had NO idea what it was other than the name “Big Cocks Porn” would you guess it was a gay site or a straight site. Straight? You cheating fucks — you knew that because you are looking in the straight section of our site and not the gay section. Well, we will be honest — we were sure it was a gay site before we got here. Boy were we wrong.

The big cocks part refers to these lucky fellers that not only have enormous man parts to taunt the rest of us our entire lives, but they also — and this is solely a direct result of the aforementioned dick size — get to fuck incredibly hot women. And let us say for the record that the site is aptly named. At the risk of being called “gay,” these dudes have some pretty impressive cranks. That is all we will say about that.

500,000 huge cock pictures, 150,000 porno movies featuring big cocks (is there another kind?) and LIVE big cock shows (what the fuck is that?).That is what you will get for $39.95 per month ($1.95 for a three day trial). But there is a BIG bonus with this site. Over 60 other sites are included in that membership! SIXTY OTHER SITES! This one alone has hundreds of thousands of videos and pictures — imagine the total amount of videos and pictures included in 60 sites from the same makers (Fetish Hits). Staggering, isn’t it?

We saw many cocks, both black and white, that exceeded TWELVE INCHES! Do you realize how long twelve inches is? Think of it this way — look at your arm. See the area of your arm from your wrist to your elbow(generally called your forearm for you slow ones)? It is LONGER than that! Now try to lay your cock on that part of your arm…just kidding…we just wanted to see if you would do it!

Decent fuck site. It is not all that hard to collect a bunch of “big cock” porno movies, and it is not really a fetish, but it is good fucking and a shit load of movies and pics, so we liked it.

Visit the site: www.bigcocksporn.com

May her powdery, white vagina rest in peace.

The site: blackattackgangbang.com

The price:$29.95 month

The verdict: A very nice gang bang site. Lots of big black dicks and some premier white girls. In all honesty, we have seldom seen such a collection of blonde girls that are this hot in one spot. The network is a very nice bonus. 9 out of 10.

We would not we want to meet up with this group of guys in a dark alley. No, not because they are black…asshole. Because we’d be scared of their giant cocks and getting snogged to death by a Black Attack Gang Bang. But these little white girls must be a lot more brave than we are, because they not only don’t seem scared…they seem to it!

This site is just what it implies…a group of black guys (four or five usually) taking on the white females of the world…one at a time! And somehow they have gotten a hold of some of the best pieces of blonde ass in the whole business as far as we are concerned. The chicks on here are head and shoulders better than a vast majority of the sites that we have seen. Great talent search, guys.

The other great thing about this one is that it is with the Meat Members group of sites, which means that for $29.95 per month you get over 40sites — all of which have some of the best quality videos and bitches in the land — with over a million megabytes of videos and counting. You will not want for any porn for a long, long time. Check outwww.meatmembers.com for the full list of sites. It is an unbeatable deal.

We have found a new love and her name is Courtney Cumz. This girl is TOP NOTCH! One of the sexiest we have seen in a long time, and also a great trooper. Words cannot do her justice, so a description is out of the question. Go check her out on the free tour of the site…she is fucking solid. Her video is even better, as she never bats an eye for a moment at the size of the numerous black cocks that she is surrounded by. Hell, one time a guy picks her up and begins to fuck her as hard as he can while standing, and she fucking smiles! Are you kidding me? This bitch is the BOMB! We will look hard for some more of her. Good shit, Courtney!

And then there was that familiar face that we love as well…Courtney Simpson. We are infatuated with her. For those of you who do not remember or who never knew, Courtney Simpson was not that long ago a cheerleader at Arizona State University. She got into the adult business and caused quite a stir…in our pants!! Haha!! Courtney is one of the sexiest blondes alive, and knowing that she was actually a cheerleader in college makes her that much more sexy. In this video she takes on 4 big black dicks at one time. Goooooooooo Courtney!!! Hooray!!!

A very nice gang bang site. Lots of big black dicks and some premier white girls. In all honesty, we have seldom seen such a collection of blonde girls that are this hot in one spot. The network is a very nice bonus.

… 9 out of 10

Visit the site: www.blackattackgangbang.com

One of the best and most extensive pay sites on the net, Brainpass.com is a collection of over 2 dozen sites, all of which are extremely well put together and have unstoppable talent (both male and female). You may have read our other reviews about Brain Cash…well, this is their main site. You can join through one of the sites listed with the Brain Cash group, or simply go to brainpass.com and join there. You will not be disappointed (unless you like shitty videos with ugly chicks and guys with small dicks fucking horses).

For a reasonable rate of $29.95 per month, you get access to some pretty damn good sites. Ever heard of Peter North? You will get his official site with all of the award winning cum shots. Lexington Steele? Yep, he’s here with his terrifying dong. Not only do they have some of the biggest names in the business, there are also several single-girl sites with super hot chicks that fuck on film…a lot! Shelby Bell is one of these girls and she is a fucking knockout. If you do not think she is the hottest thing on video, well then maybe you should join and head to boyscasting.com!

Also, there are several sites dedicated to niches, such as realsquirt.com (you can figure that one out, can’t you?), feetfrenzy.com (again, a no brainer), and fuckthatasian.com, and onlydp.com (some of the best double penetration scenes featuring the likes of Peter North, Lex Steele and Lauren Phoenix). We could go on, but it is much easier for you to just go to Brain Pass and see for yourself!

In addition to their featured sites, they promise over 200 bonus sites with the price of your pass. They also give you weekly live shows on web cam, as well as one-on-one session with some of their models. Again…this is all for only $29.95 per month. We have found many network sites that we really like, but none so far are on the level of this one.

Nary a bad word to say about this collection. Unbelievable sites, talent, content and volume. Also an unbelievable price. Most unbelievable of all is the fact that you are still reading this and have not yet joined.

… 10 out of 10

Visit the site: www.brainpass.com

She went south on Peter North

The site: peternorth.com

The price:Exclusive PLD pricing – $2.95 Trial, $14.95 Month

The verdict: If you are not a fan of Peter North, then you are not a fan of porn. Peter is king. 10 out of 10.

Peter fucking North. The king of kings. The legend himself. This is no knock off, folks – this is THE official site of THE man of porn. I had the pleasure of meeting Peter recently, and he was a very good dude – very gracious, humble and generous with his time. Of course…that’s not what you care about, right? You want to see his giganta-cock slay some pussy. Gotcha…

Peter has fucked over 1,000 chicks on film. That’s 997 more than you have fucked in your life – and that’s only if you count your sister (note: he has also fucked your sister, so that’s really sort of like a push between the two of you). While all of those encounters are not available here on his site, there are a lot of them – plenty to keep you busy for a LONG time (and even more sites and scenes – -we’ll get to that in a minute).

Pete is still making movies, so lots of his new shit is here, as well as some vintage movies from the 80s and 90s (classic shit). Of course Pete is known for his massive cumwads and facials, so there is a lot of emphasis on that, even featuring the “Pop of the Month”. There is also an Ask Peter section, lots of bonus sites included in the membership fee (including some other legends, like Tera Patrick and Rocco Seffredi), Peter’s personal journal and lots of other shit.

There are several plans of membership, all of which seem awfully generous since we’re talking about the legend himself here. You can stick your cock in the water for less than $3 – -that will get you 3 full days of Pete and his bitches. If you like it (and you will of course), you can get a monthly membership for LESS than $23 per month. Unheard of when you’re talking about such a big name star.

If you are not a fan of Peter North, then you are not a fan of porn. Peter is king. And to honor the King, I leave you with this poem:

Ode To My Idols

To some it’s Obama, the inspiring prez
Or a musician that shreds the guitars
Still others have heroes that play sports or games
But my idols are all porno stars

At first it was Jenna who stole my heart
Her tits and ass did the trick
And I always admired Ron Jeremy
Who could suck on his very own dick

Don’t forget chicks like Briana and Teri
Who both filled my fantasies too
And guys like Rocco with Thermos-like cocks
Who taught me to perfectly screw

But there’s one man who tops them all
We’ll call him a God henceforth
A man among beasts, and girls and boys
That man is Peter North

To some he’s a perv, but an artist to me
His canvas is the broad
His model a slut, the brush his cock
The paint is Peter’s wad

With the wit of one man he seduces a chick
His tongue’s like three men in her trough.
With the dick of five men he delivers the goods
With the cum of ten men he blasts off.

Yes, Peter’s the best of the best of the rest
Which is saying a lot that is true
‘Cause all the porn stars have a surefire way
Of relieving my balls when they’re blue

So go on and worship your Hollywood stars
You can keep all your athletes, and then
Give me some grease and a porn and a towel
And my idols will please me again.

Special Update! When you join PeterNorth.com through PLD, you’ll get a 50% discount. This is a limited time exclusive offer.

$2.95 for 3-day trial

$14.95 for 30 days membership

$34.95 for a 90 day trial

Visit the site: www.peternorth.com