[rating:7/10] (7/10)

To join, click here: www.onlyeuroporn.com

Have you fucklers ever been to Europe? I have. There is some grade A pussy up in that continent. But, man — when they get ugly they get DAMN ugly. I saw this chick in Hungary that looked exactly like the bastard child of Julia Childs and
John Madden.

It’s OnlyEuroPorn.com and, guess what? No American pussy! Sure, I like some red, white and blue snatch just as much as the next patriot, but I also dig me some of that across the pond pussy. This site is for when I crave some of that funny talkin’ shit.

And although all of the ladies are European, they have many different “types” to choose from at OnlyEuroPorn. For example, if you get off on the perfect blonde with a gorgeous face and fake, but stunning rack — go check out the samples of Victoria. If you’re more into the sinister looking brunette that sucks the skin off of mad cocks (like I am ), go check out Simone Style. And if you’re into bald chicks with fat, hairy pussies — well, you’ll have to look elsewhere. They ain’t got that kinda shit at OnlyEuroPorn.

This is a pro type site, so no home videos of Brits fucking Frenchies or anything like that. Too bad — that shit would be hot. But as it is it’s pretty good, since I like foreign chicks. And the price for Only Euro Porn is right at $30 for 30 days — and that includes 30 sites. Stellar.

Nothing that I haven’t seen before, but not a bad place to go when my nuts are on swell. Good deal with all 30 sites for $30, too.

7 out of 10

Visit OnlyEuroPorn.com

[rating:5/10] (5/10)

To join, click here:www.torbefilms.com

When I hear the word “film”, I immediately think “artsy.” “Movie” makes me think of a mainstream Hollywood production. “Flick” means porno, each and every time.

The Torbe Films at TorbeFilms.com, however, could only be classified as “artsy” if you were at the Museum of Ridiculous Clown Shit. While there is some good fucking of hot chicks in these flicks, the films are marred by goofy spoofs or real movies and shows that take away from the good sex.

The upside is the nasty (in a good way) chicks that appear on TorbeFilms. They are hot and willing to do just about anything. Trust me — when you agree to star in a porno with fat, unattractive dudes wearing sea captain uniforms and tiaras, going tonsil deep in another chick’s ass is not at all humiliating by comparison.

The day I visited this goof fest, there were only 3 active movies, with one on the way. I have no idea if the site is brand new, or if they are dragging their feet on these movies. Maybe they got going and saw how ridiculous the movies were and decided to slow it up until they could go a new direction with it.

Fortunately, you get 30 total sites when you join this one ($30 per month), so you can sniff around here for a chuckle and then go get yourself some good jerk material from on of their better sites.

Not sure how this turd ended up in a good network. Join — but only for the bonus sites.

Visit TorbeFilms.com

[rating:7.5/10] (7.5/10)

To join, click here:www.torbecouples.com

If you have a regular fuck buddy, but you finish each session off by kicking her square in the twat with a moon boot (at her request)…does that make you a couple? I say no. She says otherwise.

TorbeCouples.com claims to feature real life couples exposed. Hmmm…not so sure about that. Maybe some of them are. No matter — they all look pretty fucking good in the sack here. You see, these are not dolled up porn starlets and their tripod mates. These are real people, if not real couples. Very sexy shit here.

For example — go watch the sample entitled “Long Haired Cowgirl” on the main page of TorbeCouples. A young, foreign couple (possibly a real couple here) gets to fucking and such. Shit — check out all of those samples. That was enough to make me join this fucker for a month, I’ll tell you that.

And TorbeCouples comes with a pretty big surprise — an additional 30 sites with you membership to this one site (as low as $8 per month). I am new to reviewing this network, but everything I’ve seen so far is pretty impressive. All of the chicks are hot, real and slutty. What more do you want, fucker?

There are some pretty good, and unusually lengthy, samples on the Torbe Couples front page, so you should at least check that out. Shit — if you can concentrate hard enough, the samples may be sufficient to drain your sack. Not likely, but possible. You may have to get yourself at least one month to do it right.

Many of these videos are actually really good, despite this being a pro type site. Pleasantly surprising.

7.5 out of 10

Visit TorbeCouples.com

[rating:8/10] (8/10)

To join, click here:www.torbecz.com

God, I would love to get my hanglow up in some little foreign slut. Visiting the Eastern Europe is on my bucket list. Of course, so is taking a crap on a Grand Slam platter in a Reno Denny’s, milking a dwarfed elephant and ass raping Jessica Tandy’s corpse.

I was really impressed by the high quality pussy on this TorbeCZ. It’s also a feel good site for out of shape fucklers like yourself, as this Torbe dude ain’t no Addonis, yet he’s sticking his chubby in plenty of super hot chicks.

If I ever do get to go over there, I will spend every waking moment there either searching for or fucking Lucky, a stellar piece of ass that gets the Torbe hammer on this site. Cute as shit, smaller sized cans, tattoo by her puss — all of the qualities that I look for in a foreign cum receptacle. Seriously — go take a look at this little chick on the free area of the site. Just her pic is good enough for me to slick off to.

TorbeCZ.com — as well as about 30 additional Torbe sites — are all included in the membership, which is a standard $30 per month. If you really dig it, join that shit for a year and pay only $7 per month. Fuck yeah, it’s a deal.

Man, I do love American chicks, but I am starting to lean towards the Euro sluts. They are nearly as hot (and hotter in many cases), and they seem to like random cock more than their U.S. counterparts. Torbe CZ is a prime example.

8 out of 10

Visit TorbeCZ.com

[rating:7/10] (7/10)

To join, click here:www.eurosexnation.com

You hear a lot of people go on and on about how romantic it is to fuck in the rain. I like to take it back a notch and beat off in the rain. Sometimes, when the drops start to fall, I will run up to the roof of my house and crank one out. It’s liberating.

This little ditty is all about the pros. It’s got the hottest babes, the best lighting, the perfect poses and the satin sheets. Lots and lots of satin sheets. If you’re looking for any sort of amateur feel whatsoever, you’d be skeedaddle to another site, ’cause you won’t find it here.

What you will find is extremely hot European chicks that do pretty much anything and everything. If you’re like me, there are few things better than watching some chick from the Eastern Bloc take a rippled cock in her ass. There is plenty of that shit going around here.

$1 will get you a 3 day trial – and that’s always the route to go first. If you dig it, you join full-time and you get two fistfulls of other pro caliber sites. Not a bad deal if you dig the pro style.

It’s really hard not to like an HD pro site like this. They have daily updates, you get tons of sites and you always know that the chicks will look perfect, every time.

7 out of 10

Visit EuroSexNation.com

[rating:7/10] (7/10)

To join, click here:www.slovakteensclub.com

The word Slovak sounds disgusting, in my humble – but exceedingly accurate -opinion. One would reasonably expect a Slovak chick to have shit covered antlers hanging from a baggy vagina hole. One would be dead wrong. Not only are these chicks hotter than any slice of trim you’ve had in years, they’re also easier than beating Stephen Hawking in a foot race.

I’ll admit this shit right off the bat – the language these chicks speak, and even their accents when they’re speaking English, sounds like someone got their throat stomped on with a set of sharpened golf spikes, then began vomiting scrap metal. It’s awful. Luckily, they spend little time speaking as a result of having giant boners crammed in their suck holes.

If you see one Slovak chick get fucked all summer, make it be Irene. Irene is a stunningly hot brunette who fucks as dirty as her language sounds. She’s gorgeous, she has very nice, large tits and she’s a screamer. What more do you want?

This is one of those sites with a $1, 3 day trial, which means an automatic join as far as I’m concerned. Plus, if you like it and join for months, you get this site – and about 10 more – for $20 per month. A very, very solid deal, considering these are all top quality, high end professional sites. These cunts don’t work cheap – so take advantage of them when you can.

I say give it at least the $1 trial shot. What have you got to lose? Oh yeah – a dollar. Well fuck you if you’re too poor to spend that on a piece of foreign whack material!

7 out of 10

Visit SlovakTeensClub.com

[rating:6/10] (6/10)

To join, click here:www.czecksexclub.com

Eastern Europe is so fucked up these days that I don’t know a Czech from a fucking Slovak from a Yugo. All I know is that those bitches over there seem to be hot and ready to fuck your balls empty at the drop of a hat. I met one of those snipes at a porn convention once. I said, “Nice to meet you.”  That slut dropped to her knees and drained my spheres like a pro. Turns out “nice to meet you” means “empty my balls you fucking tramp” in whatever language it was that she spoke.

God – I was so hoping that there’d be a video of a Czech gal butt fucking a dude with a strap-on on this site. Then I could have made a “Czech’s in the male” joke. But alas, no such luck.

The only constant on this site is that the chicks are apparently from the Eastern Bloc. This is good, because it means you get a ton of variety in body type, hair color, sexiness and the like. Actually – the sexiness is a constant too. I’m not sure how these chicks are so hot coming from a war-torn gutter hole, but they seemed to have come out of it unscathed.

Looking particularly fuckable was the very first chick I saw on there, Olga Winter. Black hair on her head, no hair on her cunt. She is absolutely gorgeous. I was disappointed that she didn’t get fucked, but I could watch this chick clean out toilets and get off.

The big knock on this site is that chicks aren’t getting themselves laid. Instead, they are playing with plastic boners. I am not a huge fan of diddler sites.

On the bright side, you can get this one for a $1 trial, and when you join full time you get tons of additional sites with lots of fucking on them – so it’s not a waste to make a $20 per month investment on a 3 month membership.

That’s it. Do what you want, fuckers!

6 out of 10

Visit CzechSexClub.com

[rating:8/10] (8/10)

To join, click here:www.wildfucktoys.com

This one’s for all you guys (like me) that have seen so many god-damned normal sex-type things so often that it takes something a little different to really get a good nut off these days. Wild Fuck Toys is — well, I’m not going to talk down to you — you know damn well what it is — it’s bitches sticking weird shit in their crannies to get off. In turn, we get off. Everyone is happy in the end.

And when we say weird, we really mean it. Mostly machines, but mixed with vibrators, stuffed animals, pieces of angle iron, fake doctors, glass dildos, drills, stirrups, George W. Bush dolls, suction cups, large springs and a crucifix. I am not making any one of these items up — each and every one of them makes an appearance on this site (and gets =jammed into a pussy). If that is not enough to get you there and get you off — then we cannot help you. In fact, you cannot be helped at all. Chain yourself to the wall and wither away, my man.

And if you’re gonna go weird, you might as well enjoy it with a not-so-normal chick. We chose Kayden Faye, a pretty but strange gal. Her entire left upper arm is wrapped in tattoos (we likey) and her nips have posts shoved through them. She’s what we’d call a goth-type chick — a fucking hot one. Her tits are just about perfect in size and shape — movie star tits, folks. I dare you to challenge me on the perfection of her tits. I will fucking take a hammer and — oh…sorry. Got carried away. Anywho, she is a hot little number who fucks herself with some bizarre power drill/dildo/suction machine. Not sure what it is, but let’s put it this way — if I had that machine and you had a feather up your ass — we’d both be tickled. She cums.

Top notch pussy putting oddities inside of themselves doesn’t cost nearly as much as you’d think, either. Well, that site, if it were =alone, runs the average $39.93 per month. BUT — you also get an additional THIRTY sites that are included with this network — all for that one monthly price. One site for forty smackers is normal, but 30 sites for 40 dollars is pretty fucking impressive. Not sure about these wacky insertions? Give it a three day try for $4.95 or a seven day gallivant or $9.95. What the fuck is a “gallivant”? Hell if I know….

We like us some strange every now and then — this site definitely qualifies. One major plus about this site is that it is weird — but it is not disturbing. Well, maybe a little…but in a good way. … 8 out of 10

Visit the site: WWW.WILDFUCKTOYS.COM

[rating:7.5/10] (7.5/10)

To join, click here:www.wildpornpass.com

Have any of you dudes ever jerked off with ground beef? I am sitting here at home and horny something fierce and just realized I am fresh out of lube. No Vaseline, no lotion, no grape jelly and not even any Preparation H. All of my standbys are empty. The only thing that looks remotely slick in my fridge is ground beef – anyone have any experience in meat lubes?

This is one big motherfucker of a site with more shit to bat your dick to than TEN fucking interstate smut shacks — except you don’t get to go into the bathroom of this site and get your cock slurped by a plaid-shirted trucker through a honey hole. Oh well, you can’t have it all, now can you?

48 motherfucking porno sites – one shitty dollar. ONE FUCKING DOLLAR I SAID! That dollar will give you 3 full day to whittle your fuck stick. Did I mention that you get 48 sites when you join? That’s a hell of a deal, but even better is the buy 3 months, get 3 free bit. Yeah – while 3 days is cool, you can’t even get your dick up more than once an hour – so that’s only 72 or so sparring sessions with Little Mac. 6 months will give you time to really fuck up your cock for life. Sweet!

I generally am down on mega sites due to their faceless nature, but this isn’t really a mega site – it’s just a network – -and a pretty decent one. All of the sites are from different genres and tastes, so there is a really nice variety, lest your cock be bored. And if you’re a fan of professional, well-done porn (as opposed to amateur home video porn), then this is a great network for you to join.

I like to make sure that I have all of my porn shit in check. I want to know exactly what sites I am a member of. That can get out of hand quickly and easily if you dig porn as much as I do. This kind of network is a great way to have everything in one place – one fee, one password, one screen name. After all, you only have one cock…right? … 7.5 out of 10

Visit the site: WWW.WILDPORNPASS.COM