[rating:10/10] (10/10)

To join, click here:www.arielx.com

“My favorite form of birth control is butt sex.”

– Ariel X

How’s that for a fucking ice breaker? Seems like we’re off on the right foot here at ArielX.com. A chick who loves to let me unload the chowder into her shitter already has 90% of the qualities I am looking for in a chick. If she can cook and is unable to speak, I will propose right now.

Another personal bonus is that she’s brunette, tattooed and a heavy drinker. These are a few of my favorite things. In addition she’s incredibly gorgeous, has smaller tits, she’s into other chicks, and for fuck’s sake — she’s a fucking porn star! God, I love her.

I’ve never really been deep into fetish stuff, but if anyone could take me there, I think it could be Ariel X. There’s just something about her look that really makes my balls start to get hotter than usual and my weiner to begin to enlarge beneath my trouser zipper.

$19.95 is the fee for a monthly membership. This, as you probably know, is about $10 cheaper than a lot of porn sites. It’s true that many of those offer other free sites, but in all honesty a lot of them just throw a bunch of shit onto these sites. Ariel X is more well thought out, more well done. She seems to really give a shit how she comes off to the public, and it shows on her site.

Excellent on all fronts.

10 out of 10

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[rating:8/10] (8/10)

To join, click here:www.danadearmond.com

Hey — I remember this Dana DeArmond freak. She’s that smoking hot chick that was some sort of MySpace sensation before she got into bondage porn (note: MySpace was a social website a long, long time ago. You can read about it in history books. It was sort of like FaceBook if FaceBook were made by the same company that made the Bedazzler, and if it were overrun and controlled by 13-16 year olds).

Anyhoo — here she is at DanaDearmond.com. Titties and pussy are apparently persona non grata on MySpace, but here on her own site she can make up for lost time by showing us the inner hole of her vagina, as well as how nicely her tongue fits into the vaginas of other female humans.

She also documents just about everything on her site, either in photos or videos. There’s a wide variety of styles too — ranging from grainy, web cam like material, to very high quality, artsy shit. That’s good, because I get bored with just one type of video, and at a place like DanDDearmond my boner won’t lose interest.

$19.95 will get you Dana DeArmond — and many two-tittied friends — for an entire month. There are other plans as well — the longer you join for, the cheaper it is. I’d make a suggestion as to which you should buy, but I’m a fucking pornographer, not a financial advisor. Christ, just flip your hog out and pick one already.

Pretty good stuff if Dana floats your boat. Incredibly hot brunettes who eat pussy generally do the trick for me.

8 out of 10

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[rating:10/10] (10/10)

To join, click here:www.faith69.com

I gotta be honest — I don’t dig on the 69 maneuver too much. I’m sure it’s great for some, but I have to focus my attention on doing one thing great, and one thing only. If that one thing is eating a sloppy puss, then the more I can concentrate and the harder that chick’s legs are gonna flail about. Conversely, if I get to steer all of my attention to getting my dick sucked to the best of my ability, I will blow cum through the back of that bitch’s skull. It’s gotta be one or the other for me to bring my A game.

Not so, apparently, for Faith 69. This horny housewife runs her own site (aptly named Faith69.com), and does a fucking grade A job. That, on top of performing a mean 69 amongst other sex acts with numerous guys, makes her a minimum of 1,000 times more effective than I am at just about everything. Go figure.

Faith runs the kind of site that gets me more excited than any other type of site on cyber-Earth — IF it’s run well. And Faith’s is DEFINITELY run well. Tons of updates (TWICE a fucking week!!), excellent quality (but still an amateur feel, which is ideal), lots of different partners (guys and gals alike) and even different fetishes.

Plus, the fucking price will floor you. $12.95 for an entire month. Shit — that’s the price of some trial periods on some sites. And those sites are generally big piles of dumped, thoughtless DVDs. Faith69 is 100% original, extremely personal and well tended to. This is more than a smut site to Faith — it’s her life and her lifestyle. She cares, and you can tell. Oh — and you can also get an entire THREE months for $30, the price of 1 month at most sites. And guess what? Those memberships rebill EVEN LOWER ($10 for the 30 day, after the first 30 days and $24.95 for the 90 day, after the first 90).

In addition to the pics and videos, she also has live cams, a huge archive of videos, all emails personally answered by Faith herself and, the real biggie, Member meet and greets. That’s right — you actually get to interact with Faith in person.

I cannot stress enough how rare it is to come across a “mom & pop” site that is as good as Faith69. There are a handful, but some of those are falling by the wayside as well, mainly due to the ladies getting out of the biz. There’s no indication that Faith has any intention of doing that any time soon. It’s truly one of the great amateur sites out there.

10 out of 10

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[rating:8/10] (8/10)

To join, click here:www.clubpenny.com

You perverts ever hear of Penny Flame? She used to do a bunch of boner flicks until she saw the light and landed on Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew. Fucking sellout. She’s hot, though, and ClubPenny.com is what remains of her converted ass. It’s good shit, I have to admit.

If I was God instead of Satan, I’d probably make a lot more sluts like Penny here. She just acts and looks like your average hot chick. I know that sounds less than glamorous, but it’s much better than a porn chick that acts and looks like a porn chick, if you catch my drift. She’s fucking hot and fucking real — all the way down to some pretty personal stuff in her bio (check it out on the free tour of ClubPenny).

She has a ton of pics and videos — some artsy, some amateur. She digs the vagina, so you can see her eat a lot of it, but she also has day-to-day stuff. It’s only just under $20 for a monthly membership, so I’d say it’s well worth it for the content that it has.

I really dig Penny Flame, so I may be a little biased here — but I loved the fucking site.

8 out of 10

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[rating:9/10] (9/10)

To join, click here:www.domkarin.com

I have never been able to let myself go completely and let a chick take total control over me. I’m not sure that I could ever do that, but if I did, I would want the chick to be very large and very powerful. That way she could snap my neck like a chicken’s if things got too tough for me to handle.

If you like your ladies skinner than a molecule and more dominating than Godzilla in Chinatown, you just might dig on DomKarin.com. First things first — she’s skinny as fuck. She has more ribs showing than a smokehouse in Memphis. That shit’s cool with me — I like my bitches waify — but if you’re a hogger or just want someone who’s thicker, she’s not for you.

Dom Karin likes to have the reigns. That is — she’s a dominatrix. A very forceful and powerful dominatrix, who loves her craft so much she now does it online on DomKarin.com for you and I to stare at and jerk off to. Nice lady, ain’t she?

She fancies herself a photographer of sorts, so you will see a huge collection of fetish-themed photography. If you join DomKarin you will also get access to all of her videos of her dominating the fuck out of men. Flogging, caning, spanking and generally beating the shit out of them until they act the way she wants them to – then she fucks them.

$20 will get you a ten day trial, then you can join for $23.99 per month. If you have an extra hundred laying around, you can get 150 days of her shiznit (that works out to $20 per month).

You need to go see all of the freebies on DomKarin.com, but trust me on this one — if you want a very personable, easy to get to know dom who takes care of her members and runs a very good, fetish site…Dom Karin is definitely right up there with the best of them.

9 out of 10

Visit DomKarin.com

[rating:5/10] (5/10)

To join, click here:www.silvianextdoor.com

Since when did people start fucking all of their neighbors? I live by an octogenarian, a gay man and his lesbian wife who married out of convenience, a pedophile and a cripple. Who wants to fuck any part of that human landfill?

Silvia is fucking hot. No doubt about it. But I’m gonna tell you right now — SilviaNextDoor.com gets a 5 at best. Why? Because they have a handful of short vids — and that’s only if your hand is missing some fingers.

The only thing that saves SilviaNextDoor from getting a big, fat turd from me is that it is part of a large, very nice network of 30 sites, and ALL of the sites are included when you join this one ($30 per month). Most of the others are well worth the pay (although a handful are lacking content like this one).

Too bad — Silvia is very fucking sexy. I would have loved to see a lot more of and from her. As it is, Silvia Next Door is lacking in a big way.

5 out of 10

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[rating:5.5/10] (5.5/10)

To join, click here:www.naughtytania.com

I wonder if it’s legal in other countries to repeatedly kick a chick in the cunt hole right after you fill it up with ball suds? I have somewhat of a nervous tick that requires me to do this or I don’t sleep well for the next week, but I keep getting dumped or jailed when I do it.

I am hit or miss when it comes to whores getting fucked outdoors. Sometimes it does something great to my loins — like when I am the one getting fucked. Other times it’s a yawner for me. Naughty Tania is an outdoorsy gal. She was fair — better than average — but not spectacular.

Not all of the NaughtyTania scenes are outdoors, but she does have some. The rest of them are in the normal places — beds, showers, meat lockers, etc. Tania is cute enough, but I don’t know. Something about her just doesn’t click for me. Go take a look at her samples and decided for yourself.

If you do get giggity when you see her, chances are you should join NaughtyTania.com. She’s only $30 per month. That alone would do nothing for me, but ALL of the sites in the network are included (about 30 of them) in that one fee, so it’s an excellent deal.

Meh — not a whole lot to report. Been there, done that.

5.5 out of 10

Visit NaughtyTania.com

[rating:6/10] (6/10)

To join, click here:www.xtremevictoria.com

When did the letter “X” and the word “Extreme” (and all spellings thereof) become so fucking mandatory? X games, Xtreme, X-rays, X-wife wants half of my shit — who started this fucking inane trend?

Xtreme Victoria may just be the hottest of all of the chicklets in this Torbe network. She is fucking stacked. She looks like a porn star too, so if you’re not into that look then a) check out our amateur section and/or b) check out our gay section — because you’re into one of those two if you don’t dig on chicks that look like Victoria.

XtremeVictoria.com, however, has the same problem as a good chunk of the other Torbe sites have — it’s got no videos. Well, it has a few — but not nearly enough to justify $30 per month. Luckily, XtremeVictoria is a sister site to 30 other sites, all of which are included in the fee. Now, it’s worth the cash.

God…this chick really is fucking hot. A part of me dies inside each time I see her and realize that I have already seen all that I will ever see of her.

6 out of 10

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[rating:6.5/10] (6.5/10)

To join, click here:www.valeriaonfire.com

I fucked a chick that was on fire once. Well, she wasn’t when I started, but we tumbled into the fireplace and her hair went up like a tinder box. She was screaming for me to stop, but I was too close to a nut. Lucky for her, I cum like Peter North, so I put her head out with my money shot.

Valeria is pretty decent, but she’s Brazilian. I hold my Brazilian chicks to a higher standard than other nationalities. Brazilians are fucking stunningly hot on a regular basis. So I expect my jaw to detach from my face every time I know I am about to look at a naked Brazilian chick. ValeriaOnFire.com did not make that happen.

That’s not to say she looks like homemade soap or anything. Valeria is definitely hot, and most likely hotter than anything you’ve been putting your stinkin’ cock into. She has gorgeous red lips, firm orange-sized tits and a gash that could satisfy a dozen men. At the same time.

The vids on ValeriaOnFire are decent — she flops around on the bed solo, and also takes the crank from a variety of lucksters. She is hot enough that it’s easy to work up some suds while she does her thing, but not enough to pop across the room, like I do with lots of other chicks.

$30 is the fee. That gets you Valeria On Fire and her gapin’ snatch, as well as about 30 other sites. It’s definitely enough content to be more than worth your hard earned cash, but Valeria alone is nothing you’ll remember while you’re wiping the cum off of your mouse.

6.5 out of 10

Visit ValeriaOnFire.com

[rating:7/10] (7/10)

To join, click here:www.myweekwithyanire.com

What the fuck is a Yanire? If I just saw the “name” Yanire and never saw the slut, there’s no way I would stick my dick in that shit. It sounds like something that has sharp, gnashing teeth and poisonous saliva.

In reality, this Yanire slut is quite a dandy piece of ass. Hot — fucking H-O-T — piece of foreign ass. Blond hair, big, natural tits and a pussy that cannot and will not be satiated. This Torbe feller apparently spent a week with her. Oh how I yearn to live that week.

Despite the chick being hot, there isn’t much here that I haven’t seen in my world wide web travels over the years. It’s not a yawner, but not a hook either. The one thing that WILL get you to join is the fact that it’s only $30 for this site and nearly THIRTY additional sites. Most of the additional sites are worth your cash — and all of them together are certainly worth 30 dollars per month.

What the fuck more do you want me to say? Go look at her. If your dick gets hard, join. If not, join some other site. What the fuck are you staring at me for?

7 out of 10

Visit MyWeekWithYanire.com