"You cannot even begin to comprehend the level of damage I am going to inflict on your cunt."

I mentioned Rocco Siffredi the other day to some guy and he had never heard of him. This guy was married with kids, so I presume he was straight (although gay men love Rocco more than straight men – so if he was gay then it’s even worse that he didn’t know of Rocco). I know for a fact that this guy has watched porn before, so I can’t figure it out. I do know that I have spoken my last words to that fucking asshole – I have no use in my life for a porn-watching guy that has never heard of Rocco Siffredi. Fuck him straight to hell!

You can't teach that shit - she was born to be a cum gobbling slut.

I was taking a shower at the gym the other day when I noticed that the guy next to me had a raging boner. Then I noticed that that wasn’t another guy at all, but instead a full length mirror, and it was I who had the boner. No wonder the other 2 dudes in there left in a hurry.

Must’ve been thinking about Super Sex Stars

Have you ever had sex when you’re not horny? Not like when you were raped in prison — I mean with your cock and a female. I have. It’s still good. It takes a little more concentration, but in the end you can still spill the goods if you wish for it hard enough.

When I’m not bore-fucking someone, I crank it to Horny Live Sex sometimes.

"Now you go on and remember to wipe completely next time, or you're gonna get it again!"

Whipped Ass makes me want to throw on some Slayer and hate fuck the next broad that I see.  Hopefully my Mom doesn’t decide to stop by today.

"Welcome to the Majors, Bitch."

Big League Facials.  Learn it, know it, love it.

Hotter than anyone you've ever fucked.

Aria Giovanni is so fucking hot, I prematurely ejaculate every time I get to the home page of her site.   Luckily for me, I have a recovery period of 5 minutes, tops.

Purple hair'd slut

I like chicks that need the dick like it’s crack. I want my chick to literally have to be hospitalized if she cannot get my cock inside of her at least once every 4 hours. If she goes a day without my boner — death.  Diana Dean needs the bone.

Might want to go up a bra size next time.

I usually bring up the squirting issue on the first date.  Maybe in the middle of dinner, but at the latest I definitely have to know before dessert comes.  If you can’t bring it like a hose at a civil rights march, I want nothing to do with you.

Sombrero Nipples

That’s the beauty of in-blasting a pregger – you can’t get her pregnant again.  Fuck with freedom and impunity!  All hail pregnant bitches!

POW!

There’s nothing quite like getting a chick with a juicy, round ass and dealing her a solid crap humping.   If I can get balls deep into a chick’s ass, it takes the pressure off of other areas of my life for a solid week.