Our Review: My Favorite Creampies

My favorite cream pie is coconut. The vaginal creampie scares me.

See, I’m the kind of fella that sees anything that could result in pregnancy as an outright horror flick.

Facials? Pinnacle of sexy.

Traditional money shot? There is a reason most movies end this way. It’s safe

Condom? Wrapped up is even safer.

Creampie? Freddy and Jason making me fuck a bag of razorblades kind of scary.

I’m an adult. Have been for a long time now, but anytime the prospect of being a father comes up I go limp, physically, mentally and emotionally. Why the hell would anyone want to subject themselves to this by purposely letting off an unprotected load in a cooter? Even more mystifying, why would someone find it appealing enough to watch it in a porn?

Obviously I’m a neurotic asshole ‘cause these creampie sites are popping up all over the place. As a straight up fuck site, myfavoritecreampies.com is satisfying. The girls here have that unquantifiable sexy amateur vibe, plenty of exclusive content, access to all of the sites of allexclusivepass.com at a fair price.

Because I am the mental equivalent of a 14-year-old I’m going to give the site a 7.0. If I was mature in the least bit, I’m sure I’d find it sexy and would rate it an 8.5. At least. But I’m not mature and you love me because of it. Booger breath.