Grrrrr......
I fucking LOVE amateur porn. I will drop my trousers and beat off any time I see it. And I mean any time. If I see a guy lean in for a kiss with his gal on the city bus, my shit’s getting unzipped.
This Nasty Adam & Eve shit is about as amateur as it gets. Any more amateur and we’d be looking at two retards who can’t find the fuck hole.
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I'd eat a mile of her shit just to see where it came from.
I have compiled a list of the top 10 solo cunt-diddler sites. I happen to think it is very funny. I think you will too. If not, then go fuck you.
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Someone please explain to me why there's no sperm on that belly?
Nothing like a slammin’ ass to get you out of the T-giving funk and onto the next piece of shit holiday.
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"Just dip it in that tub o' gravy over there, Honey, then come give Momma some suga."
You probably don’t want to admit it, but your old lady is fat. Especially today, after downing turkey legs like tics tacs, and chasing them with shots of brown gravy.
Since she won’t fuck you because she’s in an afternoon coma after dragging her fat ass out to Wal-Mart at 3 a.m. to buy a shitty DVD player you’ll use twice before it breaks, you might as well jerk off to a different sweat hog.
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WTF?
Ever notice how that dangly thing that hangs off the face of a Tom turkey looks remarkably like the beefy cunt lips of a pudgy gal? Think about that shit later today while you’re going down on the wishbone.
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"There's one. Fucking shoot her! Careful not to blow up all the good meat, though."
Let’s keep with the T-giving theme this week, shall we? Since I couldn’t find any turkey-fucking sites (don’t fret – I will never stop looking), I thought I’d go with a hunting-type site. Milf hunting, that is. They’re savvy little creatures, but if you can bag one, your life will change forever.
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Imagine the pelt that lurks below.
This year for Thanksgiving I am going to eat some hair pie. It’s not quite tradition, but it beats the shit out of mincemeat.
Imagine how hirsute the Pilgrim bitches were? God damn. I bet their pussies were covered with twists, knaps and burrs. You’d need a fucking sickle and a Quaker’s prayer to ever have hope of finding a Pilgrim clit.
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Teens? Most likely. Lesbians? Apparently so. Virgins? No fucking way.
If the fucking name of Virgin Teen Lesbians doesn’t get you to go to their site, then obviously nothing I say will either.
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Where are the little fucking Shriner cars?
We’ve all heard of kick the can – but I want to play stick the can with these bitches at Ass Parade. Seriously – I’m generally not a big ass man, but by God these back-heavy sluts will turn a tit man into an ass man faster than you can say turd cutter.
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Hit that bitch with a stick - I want some candy!
I’ve been neglecting the Latina sites for way too long. On this blog, I mean – personally, I beat off to Mexi-sluts at least thrice a week. And it doesn’t really matter what corner of the globe they’re from – if they are golden-skinned and speak Spanish and/or Portuguese – I’m hittin’ the hand to that shit!
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