Gas up the Sybian and let's get down to business!
You fuckers ever seen a split-tail take a bedroom commute on one of those Sybian contraptions? If not, you’re missing out on possibly the greatest whack material ever made.
Seriously – to watch a chick twitch and shimmy on that iron horse is a thing of beauty. Do yourself a favor and at least check out the free shit.
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Not all people raised by feral dogs are ugly.
Not all red lights mean “stop.” Some, like Club Red Light mean “go.” As in, go to the sex shop and get a 14 inch rubber dong, go home, go into your den, go to the site Club Red Light, go bananas with that squiggler, a trash can full of lube and your left hand.
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FUCKING HIT HER!!!
I believe that the legendary Anthony Ray, also known as Sir Mix-a-Lot, said it best when he said, “I like big butts and I cannot lie. You other brothers can’t deny. That when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist and a round thing in your face…you get sprung…” also adding that, “My anaconda don’t want none unless you’ve got buns hun.”
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Udderly amazing! (note: 78% of you will not get that joke)
Fuck yes! Two of my three favorite things in the entire world — big tits and amateur sluts. You give me an amateur with big old, floppy mams, I’ll shove a flashlight up your ass – -and we’ll both be pleased as shit! What’s that — what’s the 3rd of my 3 favorite things? Fudge, of course.
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I'll take a dozen of those glazed...to go.
The facial is the ultimate conquer . Not unlike planting a flag on an unclaimed piece of land, the cum shot to the face is the defining moment of any true sexual encounter. Without it, porn would just be a reproductive dance caught on tape.
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"Who's this?!? What do you mean, 'Who's this?' Motherfucker, you called me!"
Racially, that is. White on white, black on black – fuck that boring shit. I want to see some diversity up in this motherfucker!
If you don’t click here, you’re a racist.
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That bitch on the left needs to dream about eating some cheeseburgers.
Jesus Christ — I sure hope Andrea does not have dreams like I do. Otherwise, this site will have a video of me, dressed like a nun, swimming around in Snapple. Then you’d all get to see me slowly and gently slide my throbbing cock into the pulsating, red pee-hole of a large mouthed Bass. As the Bass squirms about in aquatic glee, I feel a long, crooked finger hammering away at my asshole. I turn around to see Larry King or Joan Rivers (depending on what I ate before I went to bed). I move toward his or her mouth for a deep, soul-kiss – -but just before our lips meet…BAM — I blood-vomit, then wake up.
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Wait until you see the shopping cart she has to fuck.
I’m into some mildly fucked up shit, and I know that many of you are into some shit that would make me reconsider living, but this right here is some of the weirdest shit I have ever seen.
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She had to cut off her legs to fit in her trailer's bedroom
The thought of a white trash skank sitting in her trailer with a web cam pointed at her waterbed, diddling her cunny for all the world to see, so that she can afford to send Skylar and Tanner on a Greyhound to Grandmas “for the summer” (read: indefinitely), makes my dick so hard I could cut a diamond in half with it. That’s why I love, love, love cam sites.
Private Feeds may very well be the best of all cam sites.
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Based on looks alone, you'd probably think she wouldn't do anal. You'd be wrong.
Last night I was watching the elections, which got me to thinking about getting fucked up the ass. Curious, I reached for a Yankee Candle to see if I could keester it. Too big. My TV remote control? Still a little on the big side. I settled for a medium-sized banana and a softcore flick on Cinemax.
There’s nothing softcore about Anal Cum Junkies. Not the anal, not the cum and certainly not the junkies.
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