"I am Emilio. I will drape you in my foreskin and make you my niño pequeño. Will you have me?"
Today is the day I give an overdue shot out to my gay followers out there. You know who you are. Even you closeted fellas who gag back vomit as you dutifully eat your wife’s snatch, all while secretly wishing you were getting hammered in the hind cunt.
Here’s some inspiration for you. There’s nothing closeted about the Butt Bang Boys!
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"Open your gullet, Whore - Daddy's a comin'"
I woke up this morning with an angry dick. Furious, in fact. The only sure fire way to quell the hatred of an angry cock? Throat fucking.
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"Wanna get high on some dick?"
The name of the site I am pimping today is Blowjob Junkie, and although it’s obviously a silly website name, I think we should all take a moment to keep in our thoughts and prayers the hundreds of thousands of women out there who are, in fact, blowjob junkies. Being addicted to boner skin is no laughing matter.
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Right after this photo was taken, she shot the camera man right in the fucking face.
Oh boy — we’re getting a blast from the past here. Remember Amy Fisher, that fucking crazy, hot little slut from the early 90s that was fucking that disgusting, fat auto mechanic and took it another level by shooting his dyke-looking wife in her shit-ugly face, right on her own porch? Of course you do — you jerked off to Amy Fisher time and again in 1992, just like I did. Well, we had to wait 15 years, but we can finally put a REAL video to those fantasies that we had back then — Amy Fisher’s got a sex tape out!
And if you dig this shit, I just read that she signed an EIGHT porno movie deal! YAY!
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"Chum here you big, fat motherfucking titty, you!"
I hate bitches with tiny tits. Won’t even speak to ‘em. If I go to the store and some small-tittied bitch asks me, “Can I help you?” I won’t even make eye contact with that cunt. I will stare at the ground and say, “Shut your mouth, leave my presence and go find me the bitch with the biggest tits in the house. Now.” That’s the kind of guy I am. Sometimes they balk, but I explain to them that if they want to even approach human status, there are surgeries that can enhance their breasts. Then, and only then, will they be worthy of my eye contact.
Say hello to some fine bitches with hangin’ tits.
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This is what it looks like when an angel burns.
I want to get my cock tattooed, but I am scared that it might hurt. Do you think it will? Before you answer, you should know that I routinely spread honey on my cock and let fire ants have at it – you know, just for a release of sorts.
Here are some hot, tattooed bitches. Get some.
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Yeah...you'd better pray, Bitch.
I can’t wait until they perfect this genetic manipulation shit. I’m going to score myself the biggest, blackest cock on the market, then go Tom Cattin’ until I can fuck no more.
The reason? So I can get me some white sluts like these – those who like it black.
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FUCKING CHOKE HER!!!!
A little extreme for some, sure – but when you’re packing a Thermos in your Jockey’s it’s sometimes hard to avoid making a little lady with a skinny neck gag, hurl and choke on your pecker. And, let’s be honest here, it’s kinda cool too.
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Give a chick a fist, she can cum for a day. But TEACH a chick to fist...
It’s Wednesday, and you know what that means. No…not Hump Day…that would be too obvious. It’s Fist Day! YAY!!!!!!
Everyone out there should grab the nearest person – regardless of sex – and shove a fist into the hole closest to the floor on said person’s body.
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