This is what it looks like when an angel burns.
It’s been a while since we pimped Joanna Angel’s site, Burning Angel. Too long, in fact. My dick woke up this morning and issued an ultimatum – if I didn’t go back to Burning Angel and do my thing, he was going to go on a limp strike.
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Got a sweet tooth, Bitch?
You sick motherfuckers like to see a chick get mishandled, don’t you? Sure, I know you won’t admit it – but I have the fucking numbers of how many of you twisted bastards click on our degradation site reviews. I’m not knocking you – I like to make my bitches feel smaller than an ant’s asshole. In the end, though, I always buy ‘em an ice cream cone and tell ‘em I’m sorry.
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Watch where you're pointing that thing!
If you don’t like tattoos on a chick, then get your sorry ass the fuck outta here, because today it’s all about that Tat Queen. Fuck it – even if you don’t like tats, you’d better check her out. Squint or some shit, because this chick is fucking NAILS, tats or no tats.
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"As soon as you're done soaking those cunts, get over here and perform some fellatio on me."
I am not sure what it is about amateur lighting and video work that makes porn better for me – but it sure as fuck does. Maybe I am turned on by cheap lights? Maybe I should fuck a lantern, or better yet – shove a cheap light bulb up my ass while I smash halogens across my balls. Either way, I will do it while I’m hand-shagging to Angie XXX.
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The Napoleon of sluts.
POV porn is fucking tits, man! Whenever I can’t rattle my dong up in some really-there slut, I like to wedge my fat ass into a desk chair and shank off to POV porn. It’s the next best motherfucking thing to the real thing. And this site, Swallow Me POV, has some of the hottest POV chicks that I have been able to find.
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Please join her site so she can get the power turned back on.
How about today? Get some of THIS mature pussy, that is. Kedra Alliard is old enough to know better, too young to care. Or something like that. All I know is that she’s a MILF with a nice slab of labia.
Speaking of MILFs, I want to fuck the MILF-type that lives across the street from me. She likes to get out in the yard and work it, bending over to plant shrubs, wiping the glistening sweat from her brow, shoving a rake in her pussy, you know – the usual garden activities that can turn a man on like nobody’s business. Her old man seems to be a nice guy – I might let him watch.
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"Ummm..okay...we can start with the armpit. But eventually, I'm sticking it in your ass."
If heaven ain’t a lot like Brazil, then I don’t want to go. At least the hot pussy part. I assume the rest of the country is fraught with poverty and corruption. I have no grounds to base that assumption on – just my negative view of the world in general.
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A cougar on a leopard skin couch.
When I want to yank my squiggler to pro smut, I have a few go to sites. One of them is Top Notch Bitches. Why? Well, besides the fantastic name, it’s a site that Gina Lynn sponsors, and in my book, if that legendary piece of ass backs it, then it’s as good as a golden piece of pussy.
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"Does this tiara make these tits look fat?"
Wicked, as in Wicked Pictures – the single greatest professional porn site known to my cock. Why beat of to memories on your ex-girlfriend fumbling around in the dark before giving you a clumsy BJ at best, when you can whack it to the most gorgeous pros in the world?
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In America, you join this site and beat off. In Soviet Russia, off beats YOU!
I want to go to Russia for a fuck vacation. That’s where I fuck different chicks at the most famous of tourist locations. In Russia, I plan to fuck chicks thusly: in a bread line, with a bottle of vodka, on the chest of Lenin’s corpse and in a 3 way with Mikael Gorbachev.
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