EU Teens Club Website Review

by The Devil (admin)

Europe has cheap leather sofas too!

Europe has cheap leather sofas too!

The site: euteensclub.com

The price:$0.97 trial, $34.95 per month

The verdict: I dig the chicks from across the pond. I really do. They are more “free” with their vaginas than US chicks. Plus, I hear they think American dudes fuck the best. I dig the site. 7.5 out of 10.

[rating:7.5/10] (7.5/10)

To join, click here:www.euteensclub.com

I have a boner right this very minute. Not from looking at porn – I haven’t done that yet today. It’s one of those phantom boners that comes on for know apparent reason. Or maybe I am turned on by the sound of typing?

Well, how do you like that? Apparently chick under 20 in Europe do nothing but fuck each other and fuck random, large cocked dudes. No wonder they put all of those video cameras in London. They weren’t trying to prevent crime, they just wanted to watch people fuck all the time!

This site features, as it says, the college aged crowd. You won’t get any MILFS or old bitches here. You also won’t get any uglies, fatties or gimps. Oh – and no amateurs either, these are all pro vids. Very good lighting, very nice scenery and very attractive people with very wet body parts.

Also a very good price at $1.00 for 3 days. Like it and pay as little as $20 per month with a 3 month commitment. There is easily 3 months worth of spud milking material on the site – plus they update weekly and you get access to 10 additional high quality sites.

I dig the chicks from across the pond. I really do. They are more “free” with their vaginas than US chicks. Plus, I hear they think American dudes fuck the best. I dig the site.

Visit EUTeensClub.com

7.5 out of 10

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Divine Bitches Website Review

by The Devil (admin)

take it and like it

Take it and like it!

The site: divinebitches.com

The price:$29.99 per month

The verdict: DivineBitches is made by the fellers at Kinky. If that doesn’t mean anything to you, then you haven’t even come close to seeing some true, excellent, kinky shit. These fuckers haved been churning out supreme kinky content since your Mom was a virgin, so they know what the fuck they’re doing with it. Excellent network, excellent site. 9 out of 10.

[rating:9/10] (9/10)

To join, click here:www.divinebitches.com

My fucking furnace just went out and it’s the coldest day of the year. Most people would be pissed, but I’m a glass half full guy. I am using this opportunity to participate in a little self-masochistic bahvior. I currently have my vodka soaked balls sitting on a piece of sheet metal, waiting for them to freeze and stick to the metal. When they do, I’m going to hit them with a hammer and see if they shatter.

It’s a judgment call to be sure, but I think the women on DevineBitches.com site may be just as brutal to their male submissives as I’m being to my balls right now. That is to say, this is a very well done female domination site where the male submissive slaves are subjected to cock and ball torture, cuckolding, chastity, ruined orgasms, trampling, bondage, over the knee spanking, smothering, and getting fucked up the ass with a big, fat strap-on. And you thought YOUR Monday was bad.

Mistress Madeline is the queen of the Divine Bitches, but she has a nicely stocked stable of mean sluts to dominate her scumbags. This bitch is creative with her punishments, so if you are looking for some new shit, this is definitely a good place to chain your cock to the wall and take a gander for a while.

The fees vary, and in a nice way. You can join outright for $30 per month (or less if you pick a longer membership), or you can purchase individual shoots. So, if you’re not willing to make a commitment (you cheap fuck), and you browse thro9ugh the freebies and see some shit that you just HAVE to see the rest of, you can buy just that particular shoot. Sweet, huh?

DivineBitches is made by the fellers at Kinky. If that doesn’t mean anything to you, then you haven’t even come close to seeing some true, excellent, kinky shit. These fuckers haved been churning out supreme kinky content since your Mom was a virgin, so they know what the fuck they’re doing with it. Excellent network, excellent site.

9 out of 10

Visit DivineBitches.com

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Amateur Sex Outdoors Website Review

by The Devil (admin)

"Come check me for ticks, Big Boy."

The site: amateursexoutdoors.com

The price:$0.97 trial, $34.95 per month

The verdict: All in all a decent place to twist one out — but they lost points for the lie factor. 6 out of 10.

[rating:6/10] (6/10)

To join, click here:www.amateursexoutdoors.com

God damn I love me some outdoor sex. And certain outdoor places doa lot mroe for my libido than others. I like to fuck chicks at bus stations, on horseback and behind turkey leg stands at renaissance festivals.

What’s in a name? Well, if you believe in the name of this site, you’d surely expect to see amateurs fucking each other out of doors. Not the case. Oh, you’ll see people getting hammered in the open air, alright — but not amateurs. These little starlets are about as amateur as Jenna Haze.

In fact, I’m not even sure why they are trying to pull this “amateur” thing off. It’s obvious from the fucking STILL photos on the site that these are not amateurs. They are all involved in cheesy skits before they fuck, too. Not cool, fellas…not cool at all.

That being said, if you don’t mind a pro, outdoor fucking site, this one isn’t all bad (which makes it even more baffling that they’d try to trick us). Very hot chicks, good sex and outdoor fucking. Nothing wrong with any of that.

They also have a ton of content, with hours of DVDs here, and hours more on the free sites that you get when you join. Not a bad deal for $35 per month — and an especially good deal for a 3 day, $1.00 trial membership.

All in all a decent place to twist one out — but they lost points for the lie factor.

6 out of 10

Visit AmateurSexOutdoors.com

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Teen Sex Outdoors Website Review

by The Devil (admin)

Weeeeeee!

Weeeeeee!

The site: teensexoutdoors.com

The price:$0.97 trial, $34.95 per month

The verdict: Do what I do — load this shit up on your laptop, go out in your front yard, start one of the videos and whack the shit out of your dong right there in plain sight. 7 out of 10.

[rating:7/10] (7/10)

To join, click here:www.teensexoutdoors.com

What’s with all the fucking outdoors lately? I can’t even let my dog out to fetch the paper without him coming back with a Trojan hanging out of his ass. I go to the grocery store and — BAM — people are fucking in the milk cooler. At the bank drive-thru the other day I found a dildo in the vacuum tube. And I recently got an unexpected handy J by a meter maid while I was dropping a quarter in the meter. This shit is an epidemic!

Things are looking that way here at this site too, with one major difference. These horndogs are fucking in what appears to be private outdoor areas. I guess that’s fine if you dig it, but to me that takes away from the excitement. Go to Prague and get up in that bitches guts while you ride the subway. That’s the kind of shit that’s super hot. This will fit in the meantime, though.

Let me ask you fuckheads this — if you were minding your own business and some crazy asshole popped out of the bushes and said, “Hey — you give me $1.00 and I’ll take you over here to this backyard where some hot bitches are getting hammered. You can stay for 3 days and whack your turkey all you want.” Would you do it? Fuck’n A right you would. That’s basically what’s happening here with the 3 day, $1.00 trial that this site offers. I’m the crazy fucker and your computer is the bushes. Get it?

Do what I do — load this shit up on your laptop, go out in your front yard, start one of the videos and whack the shit out of your dong right there in plain sight. Then you really get the feeling of getting laid outdoors. And who knows…maybe old lady Gert from down the way will stroll on by and wet your head for you!

7 out of 10

Visit TeenSexOutdoors.com

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Drunk Girls Flashing Website Review

by The Devil (admin)

"I'm gonna have to ask you to blow into this, Ma'am."

The site: drunkgirlsflashing.com

The price:$0.97 trial, $34.95 per month

The verdict: I remember when the mere site of a set of tits gave me a rager. I even used to get wood when I saw a coffee mug with a pair of knockers on it. These days I am completely desensitized to tits. I like them and all, but I need more than a flash to get it up. 6 out of 10.

[rating:6/10] (6/10)

To join, click here:www.drunkgirlsflashing.com

What in the FUCK were the lawmakers thinking in the 30s when they enacted prohibition? I mean seriously -back then no women were allowed to be legislators, so it was all men who did that shit. How the fuck did they expect chicks to get all hooched up and do stupid shit like they do on this site? Thank God for people like Al Capone.

You’ve seen sites like this all over the place – and even on regular TV. These girls are “going wild.”  Meh…I guess they are getting a little crazy. But airing your tits out is minor league shit in my book. Now, start sucking cocks in a church or getting butt fucked by a zebra at the zoo and I’m totally in your corner with the “wild” bit.

To be fair, lots of these chicks get naked, and some of them hand out blowies and the like – but overall it’s a Mardi Gras/give me beads/here’s my tits kind of site. Not a bad one, if you dig that kind of shit. Me? I’d like it if I were there in person, but even then I wouldn’t get overly excited unless one of these gutter tramps latched on to my honker.

The good news is you can check it out for $1 for 3 days, and you can also get a ton of additional, full on fuck sites for FREE when you join this one. That’s not a bad deal at all – and that kind of deal totally redeems a flasher site like this for me.

I remember when the mere site of a set of tits gave me a rager. I even used to get wood when I saw a coffee mug with a pair of knockers on it. These days I am completely desensitized to tits. I like them and all, but I need more than a flash to get it up.

6 out of 10

Visit DrunkGirlsFlashing.com

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Slovak Teens Club Website Review

by The Devil (admin)

Slovakians are kinda Asian looking these days.

Slovakians are kinda Asian looking these days.

The site: slovakteensclub.com

The price:$0.97 trial, $34.95 per month

The verdict: I say give it at least the $1 trial shot. What have you got to lose? Oh yeah – a dollar. Well fuck you if you’re too poor to spend that on a piece of foreign whack material! 7 out of 10.

[rating:7/10] (7/10)

To join, click here:www.slovakteensclub.com

The word Slovak sounds disgusting, in my humble – but exceedingly accurate -opinion. One would reasonably expect a Slovak chick to have shit covered antlers hanging from a baggy vagina hole. One would be dead wrong. Not only are these chicks hotter than any slice of trim you’ve had in years, they’re also easier than beating Stephen Hawking in a foot race.

I’ll admit this shit right off the bat – the language these chicks speak, and even their accents when they’re speaking English, sounds like someone got their throat stomped on with a set of sharpened golf spikes, then began vomiting scrap metal. It’s awful. Luckily, they spend little time speaking as a result of having giant boners crammed in their suck holes.

If you see one Slovak chick get fucked all summer, make it be Irene. Irene is a stunningly hot brunette who fucks as dirty as her language sounds. She’s gorgeous, she has very nice, large tits and she’s a screamer. What more do you want?

This is one of those sites with a $1, 3 day trial, which means an automatic join as far as I’m concerned. Plus, if you like it and join for months, you get this site – and about 10 more – for $20 per month. A very, very solid deal, considering these are all top quality, high end professional sites. These cunts don’t work cheap – so take advantage of them when you can.

I say give it at least the $1 trial shot. What have you got to lose? Oh yeah – a dollar. Well fuck you if you’re too poor to spend that on a piece of foreign whack material!

7 out of 10

Visit SlovakTeensClub.com

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Impossible Cocks Website Review

by The Devil (admin)

"But...that's not possible!"

The site: impossiblecocks.com

The price:$0.97 trial, $34.95 per month

The verdict: I love it for the chicks. These chicks-next-door make it well worth the cabbage. 8 out of 10.

[rating:8/10] (8/10)

To join, click here:www.impossiblecocks.com

For the record — I don’t consider very many cocks “impossible” based upon size. I’ve seen more cocks than a chicken farmer, and you’ve got small, average, big, very large and bullshit (which are obviously prosthetic cocks). No impossible. Now…if the cock has a hinge in it, can do the wave and or it speaks — then yes, it’s impossible.

That being said, the cocks on this site are, for the most part, in the very large category. No freakishly obvious fakes, no Tetris cocks. Just some damage wielding dongs hammering away at flesh pudding.

The thing I liked most about this site is the fact that the chicks looked like your average chick that you might see turning lap dances at your local Club Vagina. They are cute to hot, but not fake or overly “obvious” in terms of being porn sluts. Go check out the likes of Angel, Caroline and Sam. You can look at these chicks — and most all of the others on this site — and see chicks that look like a handful of chicks you actually know.

Obviously, this makes beating off all the better, because you can look at Caroline here and picture that cunt that works at the car wash that you want to slip your wiggler into, and it makes for a harder cum. And for me, the fact that I can spend a mere $1.00 and get 3 days of skin-slipping material. In fact, I just fucking came my pants while typing that last sentence.

I love it for the chicks. These chicks-next-door make it well worth the cabbage.

8 out of 10

Visit ImpossibleCocks.com

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Is That Grandma Website Review

by The Devil (admin)

Grandma has nice tit skin.

Grandma has nice tit skin.

The site: isthatgrandma.com

The price:$0.97 trial, $34.95 per month

The verdict: My grandmother is dead now, so all I can do is beat off to other old ladies. Sad but true. 7 out of 10.

[rating:7/10] (7/10)

To join, click here:www.isthatgrandma.com

One time I whacked off in my grandmother’s bathroom using Preparation H as lube. I wiped the cum off of my chest with one of her bras. Then I took a shit.

Unfortunately, my grandmother did not look like the bitches up in Is That Grandma. If she had, I would not have gone to the bathroom. Well, I still would have to shit – but I would have beat off right there in front of her, and came on her afghan.

Id That Grandma has a ton of really attractive older ladies. There are some clunkers too – but all in all they are pretty good. And they aren’t 40 somethings like a lot of so called granny sites try to slip by you. These are not MILFs for sure – they are GILFS. I like that because it’s SUPPOSED to be that way – it’s a niche of its own.

Is That Grandma is unique to me because although it’s a pro site, in a studio, the ladies don’t really seem like pros. Not that they don’t fuck well – but most pros look way too good to be true – and these ladies look more real than a lot of pros that I’ve seen – even in the granny niche. I dig that.

How much would you pay to watch a young dude knock the bottom out of a crusty old slut? I’d pay a fucking dollar, that’s for sure. And I’d get 3 full days here if I did that. I’d also pay $20 per month for 3 months – but that’s just me. If it’s you too – you will get a ton of free sites with it. Non-granny sites. Good deal.

My grandmother is dead now, so all I can do is beat off to other old ladies. Sad but true.

7 out of 10

Visit IsThatGrandma.com

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Masscha Website Review

by The Devil (admin)

side boobage

She's hot, but her name sound like someone vomiting a chicken bone.

The site: masscha.com

The price:$29.99 per month

The verdict: Not my cup of tea, but it was decent. Very high quality pics and vids might make it worth it to you. 5.5 out of 10.

[rating:5.5/10] (5.5/10)

To join, click here:www.masscha.com

Have you ever stapled to head of your cock to a FedEx truck while the driver was dropping of a package to a Methodist Church? Oh, right…of course not. Ummmm…me neither.

Masscha.com is a fetish site. By fetish, I mean a cute chick with pink hair, piercings, dog collars, nipple clamps, riding crops and other light bondage items (leather, ball gags, etc.). She’s not over the top extreme like many sites, so all of you super sick motherfuckers can head to our fetish page and find you one of them.

Masscha herself is a cute gal — but you have to be into lots of piercings (and by lots I mean all over her face too) to agree. She has a nice set of tits and a decent ass, and I think her face is cute in spite of the piercings.

Although she has a lot of nice little videos and photos of her in various states of undress, with whips, chains, leather and all that jazz — if you’re looking for a chick to get fucked or eat pussy or whatever — this ain’t the place. She calls ehrself a good chick with an evil side. That’s okay for some — but I wish her evil side was a little more evil, if you know what I mean.

The great news is that you can get her site and 33 mroe sites for the price of one. That price depends on how long you join. Get a year for less than $8 per month, but only one month will be right at $30.

Not my cup of tea, but it was decent. Very high quality pics and vids might make it worth it to you.

5.5 out of 10

Visit Massacha.com

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Czech Sex Club Website Review

by The Devil (admin)

Eastern Europe has all the modern conveniences now

Eastern Europe has all the modern conveniences now

The site: czechsexclub.com

The price:$0.97 trial, $34.95 per month

The verdict: That’s it. Do what you want, fuckers! 6 out of 10.

[rating:6/10] (6/10)

To join, click here:www.czecksexclub.com

Eastern Europe is so fucked up these days that I don’t know a Czech from a fucking Slovak from a Yugo. All I know is that those bitches over there seem to be hot and ready to fuck your balls empty at the drop of a hat. I met one of those snipes at a porn convention once. I said, “Nice to meet you.”  That slut dropped to her knees and drained my spheres like a pro. Turns out “nice to meet you” means “empty my balls you fucking tramp” in whatever language it was that she spoke.

God – I was so hoping that there’d be a video of a Czech gal butt fucking a dude with a strap-on on this site. Then I could have made a “Czech’s in the male” joke. But alas, no such luck.

The only constant on this site is that the chicks are apparently from the Eastern Bloc. This is good, because it means you get a ton of variety in body type, hair color, sexiness and the like. Actually – the sexiness is a constant too. I’m not sure how these chicks are so hot coming from a war-torn gutter hole, but they seemed to have come out of it unscathed.

Looking particularly fuckable was the very first chick I saw on there, Olga Winter. Black hair on her head, no hair on her cunt. She is absolutely gorgeous. I was disappointed that she didn’t get fucked, but I could watch this chick clean out toilets and get off.

The big knock on this site is that chicks aren’t getting themselves laid. Instead, they are playing with plastic boners. I am not a huge fan of diddler sites.

On the bright side, you can get this one for a $1 trial, and when you join full time you get tons of additional sites with lots of fucking on them – so it’s not a waste to make a $20 per month investment on a 3 month membership.

That’s it. Do what you want, fuckers!

6 out of 10

Visit CzechSexClub.com

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